COVID-19: 2020 Journal

Apocalypse Now?

If you’re reading this and have no idea what’s happening in the world right now please stop and look up COVID-19.

Alright – now that everyone is all caught up let’s start with yesterday – March 23rd 2020 – my last day of work.

It’s been a couple of weeks now with the COVID-19 pandemic going on all over the world – people are fighting over toilet paper the same way people used to fight over Black Friday big screen TVs. (Side note; I still don’t understand the entire toilet paper and bottled water freak out? Thanks to all the paper goods freaks out there I have had to cherish every square that I use. Also, we live in a first world country, tap water is very clean and drinkable- are people planning a new pilgrimage that I don’t know about?)

If you don’t already know I work for a small business that decorates apparel, and I absolutely love what I do. Even though we provide garments for police and fire departments we are still considered a nonessential business and are being forced by the state of Wisconsin to shut down.

I – AM – TOTALLY – PISSED.

I still work for hourly wages and if I’m not at work I don’t get to punch it and make that mula. That means that I will have to go home and file for unemployment but also live off of a fraction of what I currently make and try to pay the bills and make ends meet. I know I’m not the only one out there and to a lot of you I’m preaching to the choir.

We have a staff meeting and it’s 100% determined that at the end of the day we’ll be shut down. I have an internal tantrum and go silent to my coworkers. (Sorry to any of you who have had to deal with silent Alexandra… I know it’s weird and not at all normal.) I huff and puff to myself and get worked up and then tell myself I have until noon to engage in my emotions of negativity and then I have to let it go. (My husband always tells me I do a great job of putting myself in this sort of “time out” but please note that this “time out” is not at all fun for those around me. During this time I will let out all the deepest darkest emotions I’m feeling about something and it is NOT at all pretty or graceful or even remotely “nice”.) BUT – again…. after my allotted time I am required to let it go.

After 12pm on the dot I finish out my day by scurrying to finish a couple of orders I had for fire departments and call the liaisons to come and pick up the 90% finished product. I quick check and call as many of my customers as possible, pack up my laptop and I even clean out my cube. I’m not leaving my of my precious LaCroix behind…

After I get into the car and start driving home it’s eerie how empty the roads are. It still hasn’t hit me yet that I’m driving through the middle of rush hour and no cars are surrounding me. I just cannot believe what is going on and the only word I can use to describe it is “weird”. Of all the words I know and vocabulary I can define, all I can say is “weird”??

When I arrive home my husband is cleaning up the living room and the dogs are excited to greet me. I don’t know what to feel or say next, so I decide to have some leftover pizza and eat an entire box of cheddar cauliflower crackers. After that I make some tea and talk with my husband about what I’m going to do with my time off. I was told by a coworker to take this time to catch up on sleep and to read and just relax.

HELL NO!

I’m quarantined inside of my home and I’m just supposed to relax? That’s what spas and vacations are for – not your own home!! I can’t go to any “nonessential businesses” (which let’s be real all of us could really use a massage right now), or travel, or even visit my mom because of this *$@^ virus!

After being enraged all over again because I am not allowed to even breathe within 6 feet of another person, I had thought of a question that was posed to me about 10 years ago.

If you had all the time in the world to do whatever you want what would you do?

My answer may or may not come to a shock to some of you so please keep in mind this was 10 years ago….

“If I Alexandra had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted to do I would workout 3 times a day”.

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s it too. Nothing else. Who says that? What kind of freak would want to workout 3 times a day and enjoy that? That’s completely insane. I wouldn’t enjoy anything else? Eating, reading, hanging with friends, watching tv, go shopping?

Well folks – I’m quarantined and this actually doesn’t sound too bad of an idea now does it?

As I threw away the empty box of cheddar cauliflower crackers it hits me – I can 100% do the thing I wanted to do 10 years ago because now that I’m forced to stay home for my safety and the safety of others, I will go so hard at working out 3 times a day it will exhaust my frustration of all of this apocalyptic nonsense to the end.

Now I’m not saying I’m going to do some crazy barre fight video for 55 minutes and then do something back to back to back and then swim lake Michigan; but I can definitely do other things to keep my body moving. I can’t wait to see what happens and how I’m going to share this with all of you.

COVID-19 Response from Alexandra: Yeah… that’s what I’ll do… I’ll workout 3 times a day and for 2 weeks fulfill a dream I had 10 years ago. *$@!&You COVID-19!!!

Day 1 – The beginning

March 24th

“I’m Ready! I’m Ready! I’m Ready!” ~ SpongeBob SquarePants

On Monday night when I decided I’m going to kick COVID-19 quarantine requirements in the pants; I’m going to need a schedule to keep me on track. My 3 times a day workouts will consist of a morning HIIT, a midmorning walk with the dogs, and then when my husband is finished with work we will do a HIIT workout together.

I realized my Fitbit hasn’t been turning on the last couple of days and it won’t charge, so none of this working out 3 times a day will even count for anything. ~ FitBit Users Joke~ Well I cleaned out the place where the charger goes and lo and behold it charges. Next I’ll need to dust off and charge my expense headphones that I purchased for my marathon training so that I can listen to my books while walking. Finally I’ll need some people to hold me accountable – that’s where you all come in.

I head upstairs for some relaxation and mind clearing. I couldn’t wait to close my eyes and sleep without an alarm to wake me up. I pick up a book and don’t even get through a page and fall fast asleep.

I was SO excited to sleep in that I woke up at 3:45am the next morning! YAY! I’m going to have a serious advantage to finishing my 2 week long to-do list in ONE WHOLE DAY.

I head downstairs, turn on the tv for the latest COVID-19 news and decide to make my coffee protein frappe that I learned from a dear friend of mine. Basically you make coffee, put it in a blender with protein powder and some vanilla almond milk (I also add a scoop of fiber) and blend maliciously until Voilà! you are now a barista. The protein powder I’ve been using recently is flavored like gooey cinnamon rolls, and it is a real treat to have. I gulp that *&#$ down so fast and I’m full for a good portion of the morning. I also drink out of a glass straw (yay environment) and for whatever reason I thought to myself – what if I bit down as hard as I could on this straw? Would it break? I started biting really hard and then told myself that was 100% the dumbest experiment I could do with a glass straw.

It’s 4:30am and of course my husband is still sawing logs upstairs and I don’t want to make too much noise to disturb him, but I really need to start my day and get some laundry done. I get down to the basement and completely forgot that the night before I had washed a down comforter that needed a good cleaning for some time now – I don’t like putting them in the dryer because it tangles itself inside of the folds and it doesn’t dry properly and then just smells. (I always hang it on a contraption I made out of a steel quilt rack, and then metal shelving that was once used for a baby gate.) The quilt rack is now in the guest bedroom downstairs and I’m going to have to carry it upstairs by myself and lay the king sized comforter out.

As I’m walking up the stairs I consciously tell myself to not hit the steel rack against anything, and I walk up each step taking in a breath, but holding it in. When I reach the turn to go up the next level I set the rack down and release my breath with only 6 more steps to go. I pick the rack up and SMACK IT AGAINST THE FIRST STAIR. It was so loud you would have thought I did it on purpose to wake the entire neighborhood. I rushed up the rest of the stairs on my tippy toes and put the rack in the large open space in the room and look over at my husband in bed. I couldn’t believe it but he was so sound asleep he didn’t even turn over. WHEW! After that fiasco I told myself to stay downstairs until he woke up.

It’s 5:15am so I decide to do my first HIIT workout with Pamela Rief. If you haven’t done any of her workouts she is on YouTube and she will kick your butt. I did her 10 minute high intensity workout and was sweating through the whole thing. I felt good afterwards and rewarded myself with some detox tea to replenish my liquids and electrolytes.

6am chimes and it’s time to feed the dogs. I also thought I would be a super wife and make hashbrowns for breakfast since that is my husband’s favorite of mine. As I’m grilling, I decide to text a couple of my girlfriends who keep me motivated and sane in this thing we call life. Since everyone is quarantined we go back and forth about what everyone is doing, and feeling, and what we can do to keep each other’s spirits up. It’s remarkable what group texting can do for people – sharing constant ideas, inspirations, silly memes, and all the support we pour out onto each other.

It’s finally time for breakfast and my husband comes downstairs and tells me how excited he is that I made hashbrowns! Yay! (No need to question him if he heard any weird noises this morning….) He gets himself ready for work in our home office, has some breakfast, and then leaves me to entertain myself for the rest of the day.

It’s time for workout #2 – walk with the dogs. I’ve been listening to Sherlock Holmes on Audible so I que that up on my iPhone, get my headphones, leash up the pups, and head out in the world of pandemonium.

We walked for a solid hour! Both dogs and I were so happy to be out and enjoying the sunshine. I can’t believe how good they were on the walk too. Proud momma moment right there.

Once we settled in back home I decided to make some lunch for my husband and I. He’s been working so hard since he knows I won’t be getting paid as much for my nonworking days to come. I am so proud of him. I wanted to motivate him all day to keep up his diligent work and passion to succeed.

Now to continue the laundry. I had started a movie a couple of weeks ago and figured I would finish it and see how it ended. Mr. Right with Anna Kendrick. HILARIOUS. I would 100% recommend. After that I wanted to lay down so bad… I was going to close my eyes when one of the Slayers was messaging me and she was working hard at home. She showed me that she was drinking more coffee and it instantly made me get up and make a cup. I don’t need to be lazy during this time (again; that’s what spas and vacations are for.)

After my cup of joe I went upstairs to continue the never ending pile of laundry. Here’s my question to everyone… it’s just my husband and me… HOW IS THERE SO MUCH LAUNDRY ALL OF THE TIME? I swear I am doing laundry everyday. There is only 2 of us? How much more laundry is there going to be if we have kids? Am I going to have to just keep wearing the same thing 3 days in a row to “lighten the load” ? How is this a thing?

I watched an episode of “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” ~ so good by the way. If you haven’t checked it out and you’re into witchcraft (or even if you’re not) give it a real chance. You’ll be surprised at how different this is from the TGIF show from our junior high years.

Any of you have waxing done? I used to go to an esthetician for many many years who would remove my hair and it was not cheap, but it was always 100% worth it to not have to shave as often as I used to. Well one day I thought it was a grand idea to just cut out the middle man and take on the waxing myself. DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT AN EASY THING TO DO TO YOURSELF – THERE IS PAIN INVOLVED – YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO STRATEGIZE YOUR EVERY MOVE.

I thought “Hey! I’ll do a quick wax in between all my chores” – yeah, no. Waxing yourself is not quick – it is a very meticulous task that involves a lot of do overs. I spent over 2 hours and I didn’t even finish the area I was working on.

My husband finally finished work and we were on for our HIIT workout date! He hasn’t worked out yet today so he picks one that is tougher than most, and of course 20 minutes long. I told myself that I would go 100% all in with him. We’re here to motivate each other! Even though I was tired I kept going. He finished strong and even though I didn’t go 100% I was still proud of myself for finishing.

I fed the dogs, warmed up some leftovers, and did some decluttering around the kitchen.

After letting the dogs out, I noticed that Sluggo’s paws were caked with mud – and not just fresh mud, but hardened mud from previous yard races. It was time for a bath.

One of my favorite things about Sluggo is that he loves showers but in turn, he only loves the shower if I’m in there with him. I decided since I was also gross from the days work that we could take a nice hot shower together. The mud that came off his paws made me sick – I can’t believe this was all over our carpets, chairs, and even on our bed! YUCK!!!!

What a day. It was only my first day of quarantine and I was exhausted. I didn’t know I was going to be exerting so much energy. Oh wait… yes I did. Remember the working out 3 times a day thing? Oh yeah.

Why was I being so hard on myself for wanting to go to bed at 8:30pm? I had pushed myself to keep going. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why after we accomplish something, we don’t give ourselves the kudos everyone else would? We are always congratulating other people and giving them grace for a job well done, but when it comes to our internal HOORAY we feel we don’t worthy of it?

This was only day 1. I have 13 more to go. This is only the beginning of what’s to come.

Day 2 – Sunshine in and out

March 25th 2020

I slept in! YAY! I made it to 6:45am!

The glorious sunshine was already peaking in through the curtains inviting me to wake up and get to work. After putting my barista skills to work I started making breakfast for everyone. (No hashbrowns today – still had leftovers).

I kissed my amazing husband before he went into the office for work and I was eager to start my workout. I did only 15 minutes of HIIT with Pamela, but i was cursing the entire time. My legs were so sore! I couldn’t believe that I was sucking wind for a workout I’ve never had an issue with before.

I went through a few items in the kitchen and tidied up but it was so gorgeous outside that I didn’t want to wait to take the dogs for a walk.

My audio was cranking loud with Sherlock Holmes and the dogs were being 100% good boys! There were so many people outside on the walk and a lot of kids were playing in their yards too. One woman who was raking leaves said to me “All the dogs must think they died and went to heaven with all of their owners being home and giving them so many walks!”

In our neighborhood they are doing a “Clover Hunt”, and a lot of households are either putting clovers in their windows or drawing them with chalk on the sidewalk for anyone walking to try and find. I also saw arrows drawn on the sidewalk for a full block leading up to a house and at the front down it said “now accepting beer here”.

I finished the walk at 40 minutes because I wanted to get home for lunch break to relax and talk with my husband. We had some leftover pizza, he did some dishes, and we video called my mom. I miss seeing my mom every other day. I want to hangout with her so bad!

After lunch since the walk wasn’t a full hour I decided to go for round 2. What the heck else do I have going on? The dogs were still good… for the most part. They really love marking on everything! There was a runner coming towards us and to be polite I moved off the sidewalk and in the meantime the dogs were sniffing a part of a fence. I looked over and Bernie’s head was still down investigating the smells and where his head was, Sluggo PEED ALL OVER HIS HEAD AND NECK!! And it wasn’t just a little squirt squirt, it was a full on super soaker of a pee. This was at the beginning of the walk so I decided that Bernie would just be getting a bath when we got home. Doggies and I walked for 1 full hour!

I was so tired afterwards and my shins were killing me. I stretched for a good amount of time after this walk to make sure that I wasn’t limiting my muscle elasticity and I didn’t want to feel tight the next day.

When it was quitting time for my husband to come out of the office I was ecstatic to have human interaction. Since I had already walked twice during the day I decided to let him do a workout without me.

There was a bounty of leftover food in the fridge so we decided to heat up what was already made and have a hodge podge of different entrees for dinner.

My husband and I were dreading the living room mess but decided to look through some boxes together. (The room is currently called BOXAPOLYSE, and there will be a separate post to explain what this is and how it came about.) We started a pile of papers/boxes that can be thrown into the fire pit later.

He went through a toy bin with other miscellaneous items in there, and came across some of his favorite childhood buddies. His favorite are his wrestlers – he has quite an extensive collection of wrestling figures, and accessories. He would show me some of his favorites and some were put in a box of keep and some were put in a box of donations.

He found a couple and would show me their “features”. For example – he found “EARTHWORM JIM” and when you squeezed his body his head would fly off. I wasn’t sure if the toy was just so old or he wasn’t using enough pressure but his head would just flop down when my husband would tighten his hands around him. We laughed so hard at this! It was hilarious to us that this toy used to bring so much excitement to him in his childhood and now it’s not as impressive. It was fun to laugh about it though, and to have my husband show me more about his past, was truly a treasure.

It was getting late and we decided to head up to bed. I grabbed my book to indulge in some more self esteem boosting, but ended up falling asleep on top of the book.

Are there toys, photos, or treasures from your past that you like to keep around and every few years take it out and reminisce what it was like during that time of your life? Do the memories involve people, or a moment? Do you share the memory with others or keep it to yourself?

TOUGH WORKOUT FACE! I made it!!!!
Soaking up all the pee in his thick white coat… 😦 FACE PALM!!!


ENJOY!!!!!

Day 3 – Unexpected Details

March 26th 2020

“Started from the bottom now we here.” ~ Drake

I woke up so sore… I could barely even move. I told myself that today if I didn’t workout 3 times a day I wouldn’t be upset with myself. And neither should I be. I’ve been pushing and pushing the last 2 days and I deserve to enjoy my time to exercise. I once read a quote that said “Working out is not a punishment for what you ate, but a celebration of what your body can do.”

I like to workout, and I like to move around and get my blood pumping, my lungs expanding, and my pores sweating. I don’t like forcing myself to do something that I dread. Yes, working out sometimes isn’t the most fun and you need to kick your inner self and just do it, but you also shouldn’t be anxious to get moving. Relax, take a breath, and give yourself some slack.

I was talking with the slayers and there are things we want to do or accomplish but we don’t always feel like it’s enough. Well here’s the truth and it’s not what you expect.

It is enough.

You don’t have to climb Mount Everest to accomplish your climbing goals, why not start with a hike in a state park? You don’t have to sell out a concert hall full of fans to be a great singer, just start with daily practices of singing in the shower, or in front of the mirror, or even in front of friends or family? You don’t have to Kon Mari your entire house to be a great organizer, start with one drawer in the bathroom, or kitchen, and marvel at the fact that you even started organizing in the first place. Starting a task sometimes is an achievement in and of itself.

During the summers I would go to Cross Country Camp (yep… I would go to a camp where we would run multiple times a day and have lectures about running techniques, training, mental pushes, etc.) My favorite quote from Coach Witt was “There are 3 steps that are the hardest in starting your training. The first three steps off the couch and out the door.”

Being productive isn’t always defined by the size of the task you finish, but more the amount and quality of the task you finish. Do you usually just let the dogs outside and watch them run around the yard, but today you went outside with them and threw the ball around for a little bit? That’s taking a step towards doing more than what you did before. Kudos to you!

My husband has been watching me over the last couple of days cleaning and organizing and he was on me about when I would clean up my coffee/tea area which was starting to spread across the counter and onto the stove top. I decided since I wasn’t going to be working out this morning that I would tackle this task with 100% focus. It wasn’t a large area or even a lot of items but it still felt awesome to do a chore that was beneficial to myself and to my husband. See photos below!

Continuing my delay in sorting through Boxapolyse, I decided to try and make some liquid soap from a recipe my sister sent me. I had to shave bar soap, and boil it with hot water and stir stir stir!! Then I added some essential oils and covered for the hardening process.

I decided to go in my room, close the door and start some meditation and writing when I was surprised to hear a knock. My husband came in and asked if he was bothering me and I said “Of course not, what’s up?” With a heavy sigh he delivered some unsettling news to me that had just happened at his work. I sat there looking at him in total shock and just stared through him trying to decipher what he had just told me. We both sat in my room discussing the situation and what will happen next, but it was surreal. I couldn’t believe that during this incredibly difficult time in the world we receive even more devastating news.

The rest of the day was quiet and neither of us really had anything to say about the position we were in. I was feverishly applying for different jobs through LinkedIn. I needed to find something so that we would have a bigger check coming in since unemployment won’t be enough to cover groceries, bills, and our mortgage.

After a long silent afternoon, I asked my husband if he would like to come along on my daily walk with the dogs. He said he would like that, so we bundled up, grabbed some plastic bags and hand sanitizer, and took a leisurely stroll through and beyond the neighborhood.

We were able to intimately talk about what our next steps would be for our family, and how we were going to be proactive about our decision making. We are going to have to cut back on spending drastically, even though it won’t be too tough right now with the quarantine. From unplugging unused devices, and turning down the heat, and we came up with a challenge to not go grocery shopping until all the food was gone from every inch of our fridge, freezer, and cabinets.

After our walk, making some dinner, and reminding each other that we’re going to get through this valley together, we decided to go after some more boxes. We had the show “RIDICULOUSNESS” on in the background and it was slightly relaxing to laugh at the videos together.

Staying positive during the darkest of life’s curves can be a chore at times. Every day trying to lift our own spirits and then also encouraging other people might not be at the front of your to-do list, but now more than ever this needs to be our top priority. Everyone in the world is going through the same thing, and we cannot allow the negativity of being alone sink into our minds. We must continue to reach out and reach within and remind each other that we will get through this, and it will be as a team and stronger together than we’ve ever been.

What do you do constantly to remain positive? Do you reach out to others? Do you watch inspiring videos or listen to inspiring speeches? When do you feel your most positive self? What have you done today to pour out your positive attitude and genuine motivation towards others?

Look at all this food we have! We’ll be golden for several weeks!

Day 4 – And now there are two

March 27th 2020

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Time to wake up and knock off a big task on my to-do list.

BOXAPOLYSE!

I told my husband that I would not be moving on to any other Kon Mari tasks until Boxapolyse was finished.

Recently we watched the show “Tiny Houses” on Netflix and if you haven’t seen it, watch it. It will make you want to get rid of all your unnecessary possessions. I told my husband that our new storage area is going to be a “tiny house” experiment. Before we each had about 10 boxes full of just random whateverness, and now (outside of decorations) we only get 6 boxes each. Honestly that’s still a LOT of boxes, but to try and keep our confidence in finishing the task we should have an achievable goal.

My favorite concept of Kon Mari is that the goal is to not “get rid of everything” but rather you cherish the things you want to keep. If something has a value and meaning then it is kept. If there is no feeling towards something then it is time to thank it for it’s service and let it go.

I was on a TERROR with these boxes. I had the most amount of junk out of the two of us and I knew it, and it sucked and I needed to acknowledge this fact and force myself to cherish what I had.

We both worked on boxes for over 3 hours – I was a bit more focused than my husband but he was reminiscing more than I was. I was determined to narrow my boxes down. I told my husband that we have to get rid of any of the cardboard boxes because if we had the flooding issue again we wouldn’t be able to salvage anything inside of it. Only plastic tubs from here on out.

My technique was to start going through a box full of randomness, but then when it was about 3/4 of the way gone, I would dump it into another bin. It felt better to be consolidating rather than to just be throwing junk away. This way I might look at somethings a couple of times instead of just once and making a quite decision instead of accepting or denying a feeling of it either way. I was then down to 8 plastic bins and I no longer had any other cardboard boxes. What a feat!!!

On that Friday I was able to continue combining boxes and put things in the correct space, or threw it out, or donated it. Looking at the shelves downstairs I had miscalculated my box count and told myself that with the new approach I had of the boxes I would be able to narrow it down to 4 boxes.

At the end of the day I ended up with 1 and half boxes. YEAH!!!!!!

I had found so many items that belonged in the garage, or in the filing cabinet, or the hallway storage, or things that I had held on to that didn’t have any sort of explanation as to why I had. It felt amazing that I had gone from a feeling of being overwhelmed with junk to one box of “things” and a half a box of beanie babies.

My husband decided to do something more positive with his cherished toys instead of throwing them in a box for donation. He wiped down all his toys and put them in plastic drawers outside with a sign saying “FREE! HELP YOURSELF!” and then posted about it on our neighborhood FaceBook page. We witnessed a few walkers and bikers stop and take a few things, and it felt awesome to bring smiles to the faces of the people who took an item or two. I also put out some plastic baggies for walkers who also had dogs with them that might need another pooper scooper.

It was a long and exhausting day mentally and physically that I had to stand up and get out of the house. Time for the daily dog walk!

My husband and I were ready for another hour long stroll together and we couldn’t wait to see what was outside today!

We were on our square walk and were about to turn at the halfway mark and wanted to walk along North Ave by the restaurants and bars to see what all was happening that late afternoon/early evening.

We came up closer to a restaurant where people were waiting for pick up outside and saw that the bartender next door was bringing beers out for the people waiting! My husband and I asked her how much a “to go” beer would be and she said “nothing! We have to clear the lines since we’re shutdown and the beer will just be dumped.” We were ALL IN! We stood outside and chugged our free beer and chatted with the 2 bartenders for a little bit (while standing 6 ft away of course).

We were finished with our drinks when they asked if we would like anymore which we respectfully accepted. They filled up our water jugs we had for our walk with a nice lager and an IPA.

We stopped at Ray’s Liquor for a few items that we needed and they were excited to pet the pups! They also brought out some treats for them for being such good boys.

Once we made it back home we were feeling good and wanted to burn the tower of papers we had set aside from boxapolyse. Enjoying the nice night we had a great fire, and our neighbors were outside for a little bit too with their dog next door!

What have you been during this quarantine that you are proud of? Has it been exercising more? Taking time to relax outdoors? Organizing that dreadful closet? Are you calling friends/family and reaching out to see how others are doing during this difficult time? What has the quarantine forced you to do that you are grateful for? Who have you become closer with if you hadn’t had the time to call or text them?

Day 5 – 6 feet apart

March 28th 2020

Woke up late on Saturday morning feeling very blah.

My parents own an 8 unit lake property and needed help moving furniture so my husband and I packed up the Jeep and headed out to help my mom.

When I saw my mom it was so hard to not hug her. I never even think about it when I see her, it’s the first thing I always do. I couldn’t hug my mom. My husband and I were very conscientious to stay 6 feet away from her.

After loading the furniture into the Jeep and filling up my moms car we took everything over to her farmhouse to have some lunch. My mom and dad just built a new addition on to their house and we were instructed to stay in that part house only.

We opened a bottle of champagne, had burgers and chips, and swapped a few stories of how we’re keeping busy during this difficult time.

It was a strange feeling sitting in the same room as my mother but on completely opposite sides of the room! I wanted to sit next to my mom and hold her hand, and hug her, and have her play with my hair (even though I don’t like when people touch my hair, it’s different when it’s your mom.)

She gave us a jar of salsa, a bottle of ketchup, a roll of toilet paper and a roll of paper towel, then sent us off with air hugs.

Again, I was so sad.

My family is affectionate and we never leave each other without a hug and kiss goodbye. It didn’t seem right.

The weather matched my mood with the dreary clouds and misty rain.

As my husband and I drove home I told him to take a detour so that we could drive by my grandparents old house on Grantosa. It was so depressing to see their house. The flag in the front yard was all torn up, the grass had too many brown spots, and the weeds in the garden beds were the only occupants. I told my husband I didn’t want to look at it anymore. It was time to go home.

When we arrived home we let the dogs out and I wanted to do some blogging. I situated myself in my room when I received a text from my sister asking “you joining the Haroldson call?” I was very confused because I didn’t receive any calls, but she explained it was a zoom call and she sent the invite to my gmail, which would make sense because I did not check my email at all yet today.

I dialed in to the call and it immediately brightened my mood!!! I was so thrilled to see all my cousins and aunts and uncles from all over the country, and even a second cousin of mine who is studying in England!

As always my Uncle was asking where my husband was (since clearly I’m not enough entertainment for him.) After my husband came into my room and we started chatting, one of my cousins announced they are going to be having a baby come this fall! Ahhh!! So exciting! In true Haroldson fashion all of us adults grabbed a drink and cheers over the video chat.

We were on the call for over and hour and a half! It was incredible to hear so many different projects everyone is working on. Of course my uncles asked my husband about his wrestling, and he explained his hobby to some of the family who is out of the loop, but then the cousins who have been to shows chimed in and shared their experiences as well!

After the call I decided to do some reading and writing. I was feeling fully inspired again!

My husband was out in the living room working on his boxes but then decided he needed to give his basement area some attention.

I went downstairs and he had found his old box tv and dvd player and was hooking it up in his workout area! I was so proud of him, and happy for him since now he could have his own space to call his own.

I opened a drink and went upstairs to relax. I felt as though the day was a whirlwind of emotions that had drained me.

As I was laying in bed I saw that my phone was ringing for a video call from my twin! Seeing her lovely face kept my love tank full to the brim! She even brought the doggies into the video so I could see them too. My husband also wanted to talk with her, so I had to call him up from the basement. We talked for about an hour but I was starting to fall asleep so I had to end the call.

What platform(s) are you using to social distance but video with family/friends? Have you felt that this has been helping to fill the interactive void? Have you been staying 6 feet apart from anyone you encounter? Are you stopping the spread?

Day 6 – My New Side Hustle

March 29th 2020

Woke up to a text from our neighbor that all of our papers that were outside under our canopy from our bonfire on Friday night had blown all over our yard. (Face palm). She was so kind and had picked them up for us already, but I immediately ran downstairs to bring everything back inside.

Time for breakfast so that I can fuel up for all the chores! I was doing some writing and texting with the Slayers when a photo came in the group of a bloody mary, and I was so jealous. I was convinced last weekend we had drank all the bloody mary mix and I was instantly sad. I was talking with my husband and he found one of the mixes from last weekend that we opened but didn’t finish! YAY!!!!!

I sent out a text to all the family that was on the call to say what a great time it was, and that I can’t wait for the next call. I put a plug in the text as well saying that if anyone wanted to purchase any of my husband’s wrestling fan gear that I would ship to them for free and through in a vintage shirt from his previous character.

Current Character

To my surprise the texts back were instant and a handful of families were interested in purchasing shirts! I asked my husband to quickly go downstairs and grab his shirt inventory so that I could organize and separate the orders. I was filling orders throughout the day and finding boxes for shipping around the house from our boxapolyse.

Vintage!!!!

I moved the table from our kitchen into my room and was laying out the orders in piles for who was to receive what, and made a little shipping station out of it. I was having a lot of fun entertaining myself with going back and forth in the texts on who needs what size, how they were going to pay, and what extras I could add to the orders!

After all that had sort of calmed down, I went downstairs to tell my husband the amount of orders we received, and how excited my family was to be receiving their shirts. My uncle also said that anyone who purchased a shirt should wear it on the next Zoom call, haha! It was incredible how my family came together and the love and support they poured out onto my husband and I.

I had noticed the other day that the “junk in a bin” system was working very well for my husband and I. We could go through the boxes and mindlessly sort through everything during an episode of a random show on in the background. I started doing that for the other rooms of the house. Anything that didn’t belong in that room I would put into a bin and put it into the living room for sorting through later.

I was able to clean and reorganize my room and the guest bedroom in one day with this technique. I found some more photos and pictures to hangup in my room and I’m going to have a Paris theme above my vanity, and then on the side of the room where the dogs are I will put up photos of them.

I had noticed I had not been socializing with my husband very much so I went downstairs to see what he was up to. I saw he had moved his old playstation gaming counsel over to his tv and was watching “The Big Lebowski” on dvd in his corner while sorting through another box of items. He was having so much fun in his corner of the basement and he was down there so late he had actually fallen asleep down there! I tried waking him up, but after no success I threw a blanket over him and headed upstairs to go to sleep.

The picture looks terrible but the tv is actually of very high quality for how old it is!

If you are home, are you doing projects around the house? What progress are you making on those projects that you’ve put off for years? Are you starting to enjoy other parts of your home after it’s cleaned and organized?

Day 7 – Irritability at it’s finest

March 30th 2020

Monday Morning felt just like a Saturday morning for some reason. I woke up, rolled over to check my phone and saw that I had a missed call and some texts from my mom to wake up and get going!

My husband and I had agreed to help finish moving the rest of the furniture since they now had a trailer to haul the beds, frames, and a couch (to be delivered to my house!! YAY!!) I made a small breakfast for my husband and I, and were still waiting for our instructions on when and where to meet my parents. I saw an email come in from my mom with a “to-do list” but still wasn’t told of a time.

I told my husband it was time to start heading West towards them, but first I would stop at work to grab a couple more smaller boxes to ship the rest of the orders. As we were driving we jokingly said to each other “I bet this and this will happen” and then we looked at each other and decided to make a bunch of bets on different activities/interactions that would happen while helping my parents. It was hilarious. We wagered things from doing the dishes, to making breakfast, and picking up the doggy droppings in the yard to chugging a drink. We came up with 10 different bets!!

We were almost there when my dad called and wanted us to go to the Farmhouse right away because he STILL wasn’t ready for us to help him but he needed my husband to help him unload his truck to free up space for the items. We drove up to the house, saw my parents and I had won the first bet. I then scooted away to work so that I could quickly get all the items in the remaining boxes and then go to the post office.

It was so eerie going to work. It was as if the place was deserted and had been abandoned for months. The heat was turned off, there were no lights turned on, and it was silent. No just oh it’s quiet, but there was literally no sound at all, as if I was wearing noise cancelling headphones.

I walked over to my cube to grab a couple more things off my desk, and to water my plant. When I was there I called my boss just to see if he was around, but he said he was there earlier and might go back later.

I grabbed my boxes, and while I was there my coworker asked me to grab her shelving unit on her desk that raises her laptop and to put it outside for her to pickup later.

Side note about this coworker: she absolutely HATES when other people touch her stuff. I refuse to go in her cube ever. Even if she asks me a question I don’t enter her cube, I’ll stand outside of it.

Side note about me: I am the CLUMSIEST person you will ever meet. I spill, or drop, or knock over, or trip over something at least a handful of times a day. I keep a roll of paper towel in my cube because of all the drinks that have soaked a lot of different papers.

Now this coworker who hates when people even touch the same pen she is using, wants the clumsiest person in the office to take her monitor and all the crap that’s on top of this huge raised desk, and put it in a box for her.

I was so focused during this moment because I took a picture of how her desk was setup so that I could put everything back EXACTLY the way it was. I sanitized my hands, shimmied the monitor, and slowly tugged on the raised desk to simultaneously remove them from each other. I finally was at the edge when I felt there was no more cord left to move the monitor any further. I had to make a decision. Was I going to move everything back? Or was I going to risk it like a party trick by pulling a tablecloth out from underneath plates, and glasses…

Party trick!!!!

I took a huge breath in and I think I even closed my eyes and pulled the desk out from underneath the monitor. It fell towards the ground and the monitor was slipping out of my hand so I stuck my leg out and clenched my knees together while flinging my free hand to stabilize the monitor back on the lower desk.

SUCCESS!!!

I quickly finished with the boxes, packed up the Jeep and went to the post office. When I arrived a lot of people were leaving the building so I felt safe knowing it wasn’t as crowded as usual. The workers were behind a plastic shower curtain that was hanging from the ceiling and you could still slide the boxes across the counter.

I was there for over a half an hour. I had to label all the boxes and I was still waiting to hear back form a couple of people who hadn’t sent me their addresses yet! People were coming and going and I kept telling them to go in front of me while I was standing there like 7th grade against the bleachers waiting for someone to ask me to dance.

I finally got to the counter and had to go through 7 different shipping boxes of yes I authorize, no there’s nothing explosive or liquid, yes that’s the right address, no I don’t want priority, yes ground is fine. GEEZ!!! I don’t ever remember the post office taking this long or having so many questions!! They have to be thorough I guess, and I should be happy knowing they are being safe with all packages.

I drive back to the farmhouse and find out that I have to drive the keys out to the apartments because my dad forgot to grab them when they drove out there…?

That was an unnecessary 40+ minutes wasted…

I get back to the farmhouse and start loading a table and cushions into the Jeep that we had acquired from my parents. The Jeep was full! I could NOT see out of any of the windows or rearview mirror. Good thing the Jeep has the backup cam!!

I park in the driveway and see my neighbor pulling into his garage. I hear him complaining about the people down the street and how they’re always parking in front of his house and taking up all the space on the road for his car to park on the street. I heard him yelling about this because his friend couldn’t park in front of his house to pick up some DVDs. I wonder if he’s running a rental over there… maybe I could see his DVD collection!!

We exchange pleasantries and yell HALLELUJAH that we haven’t died from the pandemic yet.

I unload everything and start to work on putting the table together when my husband and father arrive with the couch. I told them to put it anywhere because my husband had not finished with his boxes and the living room still needed to be vaccuumed, the other couch thrown out, and dog toys were everywhere.

I went back to assembling the table while my husband made lunch for us. If you remember we are not going to the grocery store until all the food in our house is gone. Soup and sandwiches. The soup was not good, and the sandwich was mediocre. All I wanted was to order some JimmyJohns or some Toppers and just not have to put in any work to make a meal or clean up afterwards or do dishes.

I was at my wits end, but there was only a half an hour left until I had a Zoom call where I would be painting with friends.

My husband went downstairs to the basement, I made some tea, and found my sketchbook from high school, along with some colored pencils and setup my laptop and desk for my temporary work area.

My cousin (actually my cousins wife but whatever she’s my cousin now) and I chatted on the video call for a little bit and then we had one more woman join us. We chose a landscape theme and drew a cactus with a sunset/desert sand in the background.

I think my inner creative self was yearning for an activity like that, because during the call I was overjoyed with the conversation, the encouragement from each of us to the other for our drawings, and my shoulders relaxed, my mouth couldn’t stop smiling, and my heart felt full of love.

Cactus!

After the call I went on Amazon to look for different paint sets to see if there was anything I could purchase for the next paint session- nothing came up yet, and I decided to stick with my colored pencils for now.

Have you been doing anything creative with your time in quarantine? Have you looked into what your inner creative self needs?

Day 8 – Tiger King

March 31st 2020

Woke up to a chill and overcast. Looks like more chores inside!

After breakfast I went to the basement to asses the laundry situation. It had now developed into different mounds of clothes, blankets, towels, and undergarments that were in desperate need of washing.

I went through quite a few loads and brought them all upstairs to the bedroom for folding when I noticed I had 3 baskets of clean clothes that were starting to get comfortable in their wrinkly state. As I put them all in a giant pile on the bed, I turned on Netflix to see what might be good to have on in the background while folding, and I had seen it before, but kept scrolling by, TigerKing.

I had heard SO MANY stupid descriptions of this show, that I was not at all interested in watching it. The night before when I was painting, the other ladies on the call were talking about the show, and were telling me that the descriptions I had heard were not very accurate. I definitely should watch it and make the judgments for myself.

Since I had already finished a lot of other shows and wanting to have something on in the background that didn’t matter too much, I decided I’ll give TigerKing a shot.

The way people were talking about the show was NOT AT ALL what it is about. There’s a fragment of the last episode in which parts of what was said about the show were true, but it was a roller coaster of mentally deranged people, and the exotic animals that they owned.

If you have not seen the show, let me tell you something, watch it with the mind set that the show has a lot of foreshadowing, and you may need to watch an episode twice, or even the entire series more than once.

If you have seen the show, 1) Who killed Carol’s husband? 2) Who set the alligator house on fire? 3) Would you eat off a meat truck if that’s the only food you had? 4) Why did I not see more campaigns for Joe when he was running for POTUS? 5) Can someone please give me more background on Joe’s childhood? 6) What the *&$% is with the girls who change their names, and do they have families on the land, and do they make a lot of money, and what do they spend it on?

I was on the 3rd episode when my husband came upstairs to check in on me and how the laundry was going, and to help me fold to get it done faster. I told him about TigerKing and he watched a little of the episode with me. I told him if he wanted to watch it together I would even start it over from the 1st episode to watch it with him. Laundry was done, so we went downstairs to organize a few things in the living room and put on TigerKing to watch together.

I made some lunch but we couldn’t take our eyes off of TigerKing. We kept Netflix rolling until mid-afternoon when it was time to take a breather and get out of the house for a little bit. We took the doggies on an hour long walk down to Ray’s for a couple of drinks for us for the evening.

When we got back home, it was time to continue TigerKing!!! We vaccuumed the living room, moved some of the boxes out of the way, set up our couch, grabbed some snacks, and buckled up for the last few episodes of the series.

I feel as though I have so many unanswered questions but I don’t think anyone has the information I need. I think they should do another series with more information from other employees, or customers who came through the zoos, or even additional law enforcement that had encounters with all of the different characters. I need more!!!

Once we finished the series we put on another movie, and fell asleep on our new couch together with the doggies.

Have you seen TigerKing? Do you want to know more? Do you know more and would like to share? What else is out there with similar personalities as the people who were in the documentary?

Day 9 – April Fools!

April 1st 2020

JK LOL COVID-19! HAHAHA!

Nope…. it’s not a joke. I’m still in quarantine.

We’ve gotten down to the reserve food, so for breakfast I had eggs, with brown rice. Not bad! It’s not exactly what I wanted, but I’m glad that we still don’t need to go to the grocery store.

I had a phone call that morning for a potential change in my life, and it went very well. I felt good after the discussion and was debating if this opportunity was something I would like to pursue, or maybe hold of for now.

I walked into the living room, and curled up on the couch next to my husband and we were in a (healthy) debate of what our next steps as a family should be. It’s been a difficult time during all of this, and our future may need some adjusting if we want to achieve a few of each of our personal goals.

I spent most of the day in my room researching and writing to clear more of the jumbled thoughts in my head. I couldn’t sort out a few of the different ideas, thoughts, or choices I was facing. It was as though I couldn’t continue my day until I had it all settled, but in reality there were a LOT of things in motion that I had no control over.

What really were my next steps? What did I truly want for my next personal goals? What kind of person did I want to mold into? Am I okay with changing paths?

After a long day of what seemed like only an hour, I emerged from my room to find my husband to go on our daily walk with the dogs. As we walked we took in the sunshine, and fresh air. We had been cooped up all day, and apart, so the walk together was uniting.

When we arrived back home, we made our soup and rice dinner (not very tasteful, very bland, and way too salty.) After that it was time to have a “house party” call with the Slayers!!!

Once we all were on the call we were talking about how all of our hair was just a total mess, but we didn’t care since all of us were experiencing it. We played some of the games that you can play with each other, and told a few stories of our experiences with quarantine in our households. We had a few cameos from dogs, and husbands, and kids. My husband came into the video with a headband on, and then all of us put headbands on to match each other! Then us ladies decided to all put robes on and lounge together via video chat.

After the call I played a few games on my phone and took some silly videos of my husband being a goofball!

It’s been over a week in quarantine and for whatever reason it still hasn’t hit me that this all is happening in the world. Are glass barriers the new norm? Are video calls the only way we’ll see each other anymore? Are hugs obsolete? Am I overthinking or under thinking it all? What other personal chores do I want to accomplish before I go back to work? Am I going back to work? Will my husband and I financially survive this?

Day 10 – Sunshine, Yardwork, 6ft.

April 2nd 2020

There are days when you wake up and the last thing you want to do is take care of yardwork. For me that had been the last 5 years since my husband and I have moved in. Today, however; is going to be when I finally take a shovel and rake and my fully capable hands and take care of that mess!

It is absolutely GORGEOUS outside! I decided it was time for shorts and a tank top, and tossed a hat on my head. I had a bountiful breakfast (gotta carb load ya know?) and put in my earbuds for some more Sherlock Holmes stories.

I grew up in a house that during summertime EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY we had outside chores – no questions asked, and now I own my house and have beautiful front garden beds that I have never ever done anything with. (Mom I’m so sorry!!!)

The garden tools that I have are in awesome condition (which naturally since I’ve never used them to their full potential) and I grab them all out of the garage, along with a huge yellow bucket and go to the front of the house to assess what my first move is. Honestly, it was so trashed I just started raking and I didn’t know if they were weeds, or compost, or wood chips, or garbage.

I then noticed that the brick wall surrounding the garden was falling over and it was looking kind of jank, so I diverted my attention towards that and decided raking would have to wait. The bricks were stacked in 3 layers. They were so deep in the ground that I had to thrust the shovel deep into the soil around them to try to make room to wiggle them up and out of the ground.

I then made a little trench in the dirt next to the sidewalk where I would be able to evenly position the first foundation of bricks next to each other. The final stacking of layers didn’t take long, but I could tell I was starting to fight a little muscle fatigue since I was at the 4 hour mark of constant moving and lifting.

As soon as the brick border was back in place I was able to finish raking out the remaining items that were abandoned. I found the tulips that were beneath all the leaves and weeds and arranged the bulbs in a line towards the front of the garden.

I needed a shower and I needed it now. I took off my shoes and went straight to the bathroom where I stripped down and hopped in the steamy water. After I was clothed again, my husband and I decided it was time to go for a walk!

We took the dogs with us, but I told him I wasn’t up for an hour long walk. I had hit the exhaustion wall! We went down to Ray’s and bought a variety of beverages and headed back home to start our bonfire.

The fire was slowly going, and the neighbors on both sides were out with their dogs too. My twin came by to hangout for a pre “booday” social distancing party. She brought her own disinfecting wipes and hand sanitizer, and we wiped down all the bottles prior to handing them over to her. We all were able to catch up and enjoy the fire 6ft away from each other.

It started to get dark and my twin and I stayed out by the fire laughing and going back and forth with stories of what we’ve been up to since quarantine life. She then proceeded to tell me about her issues with AT&T. I told her that I never had problems with them before and was concerned since they were acting like total jerks towards her! I immediately put my older sister pants on and had her call them from her phone to figure out exactly what was going on.

Long story short we were on hold for over an hour and nothing was resolved, but at least we were able to spend more time together!

Are you staying 6ft away from everyone? Do you know someone who is supposed to have an event happening during quarantine but it was cancelled? How is everyone feeling right now with not being able to hug your loved ones?

Day 11 – All American

April 3rd 2020

I woke up with a fierce energy to work on the other gardening bed in front of the house. I made a large breakfast and wanted to finish up the dishes that were lingering on the counter, and the mess of papers and junk on the table.

My husband came downstairs as I was washing dishes and saw I had started a new show on Netflix called “ALL AMERICAN”.

If you have not seen or heard of this show, it is High School Sports and Drama TO A T!!!! I love watching the football practices and games part of the show and then learning about the characters off the field. I highly recommend the show to anyone who loves a cheesy drama but also who is missing live action sports!! 🙂

A strong wind had picked up by the time I was finished with the dishes, so my outside work would be put on hold for today and would have to commence tomorrow.

Instead my husband and I spent the day inside each on our laptops with ALL AMERICAN on in the background.

We recently found out that my husbands brother had proposed to his now fiance and we were so thrilled for the both of them. I had offered my services wherever the bride would need, and I had recommended they create a wedding website. They told me they weren’t sure on where to start with it, so I suggested I would start it for them, and if they liked it, they can keep it, or if not, then they can delete the site.

I worked on a majority of the site during the day, but haven’t finished it yet. I don’t want to reveal anything to them until I’m 100% satisfied with my work.

The sun started coming out again and we both wanted to enjoy the nice weather while it lasted. My husband went to the pet store for dog food, and the liquor store for a couple of drinks for us to enjoy outside by the fire.

While he was gone I posted up on the hammock and chatted with my neighbors on both sides of the fences but also relaxing and tending to the fire. My neighbor asked if I liked Crispin and I said I’ve had it before and I’m a fan. He then handed me two 6packs of Crispin one for me and one for my neighbor on the other side of my house. Then gave us each 2 packs of alcoholic seltzers to try!!

He explained that his buddy works for a distributor and they can’t bring the expired beverages to buyers and he had an entire trunk full of cases of beer, ciders, seltzers, that would have had to be thrown away. We gladly took the free booze!

When my husband had arrived home, I told him about our neighbors friend, and he put the alcohol in the fridge and we just enjoyed some ciders outside next to the bonfire until the trickles of rain came down to send us inside.

LOOK AT IT!!!!

After dinner we had a Zoom call with friends to play JackBox! It was a wonderful time and we played multiple rounds of different games.

I slowly fell asleep while playing though…. whoops!

Are you able to support others at a distance during this time? All the weddings, graduations, birthday parties, etc. that are cancelled are you able to send joy to those who are unable to host their events?

Day 12 – Sorting and Sending

April 4th

Another morning with sunshine peaking in and out of the clouds but a lot to do in 1 day!

We had been putting the drawers full of toys outside on the sidewalk here and there, so I told my husband that today would be the last day for the toys outside, and then they are getting packed up to send to St. Vinny’s when they accept donations again. So we put everything outside for one last hurrah!

My husband had a couple more boxes in the living room, and since he had a couple of boxes started in the basement already, I told him to combine everything downstairs so that the living room could go back to being a place of relaxing and no more boxes were allowed in there.

It was time to venture out. We no longer had food to make meals – only chips and candy were left. It’s time. My husband said he just wanted eggs and bread and milk – I said if we’re going out, we are not going back for a while – so now is the time to stock up on anything that looks necessary.

We arrived at aldi in our bandana masks and gloves, and grabbed our bags and hand sanitizer. When we approached the cart area the workers were wiping everything down and told us that carts were of no charge since they didn’t want coins being passed between patrons. Walking inside on the ground were markings of where 6ft apart from each other were. People weren’t being limited to entering so it was a bit cramped for trying to stay 6ft.

$177 later and multiple hand wipes – we were able to pack up the car and get home!

I had my husband bring in the groceries while I sprayed and wiped down anything that came from the outside world. I washed my hands over and over again!!! But damn it felt good to have the fridge and cabinets stocked with actual food and ingredients to make full meals.

All of the blankets, towels, sheets, pillowcases, and napkins had been washed but were in a pile on top of the guest bed – it was time to tackle that project! Bernie was also eager for me to finish this project so he could have a place to relax without being yelled at to get off the clean laundry!

I was able to divide up the items that were for bedding and the others were just towels or bathroom accessories. Since I had funneled all my belongings into a couple of bins I had plenty to spare to use for the matching sets to be organized.

After a while of sorting and finding even more clean laundry downstairs, I was finally able to start putting the items away. I was folding a blanket when I saw out the window someone looking at the drawers of toys we had in front of our house. I told my husband he was grabbing all the wrestling items, and we were so happy that this man had taken a liking to the wrestling rings and entrances! When I came back to see what else he might be grabbing I saw him pickup the entire drawer compartment and take everything to his truck!

Knowing that my husband had sorted through a few more bins and had many more back in the alley I ran outside to tell the man! He said thank you and that his grandkids will love the toys to play with when they come visit him. I told him to go back into the alley because we had a lot of different items he might be interested in.

He took EVERYTHING.

There were ethernet cables, a wireless mouse, a radio, and many other electronics that he said he would be able to fix up no problem! He asked me about a fishing game that was there and that he couldn’t wait to replace the batteries and to play the game himself. I was so happy that he was able to take our items and repair them and put them to good use. Everyone won that day! Another man’s trash is another man’s treasure!!!

After a long day of sorting through boxes and sending items on their merry way, it was time for some painting with friends!

Twin joined us on our call! It was so fun to talk for over an hour with friends while having some wine, and very calmly coloring and sketching. My sister jumped on the call later, but wasn’t painting, mostly just chatting with all of us and telling us fun stories about my niece and how she is doing with everything. After everyone was ready to wrap up and leave, twin and I decided to stay on the call a little longer so that we could have a little bit longer facetime together. We stayed on pretty late too!

Who are we without expression? Are you feeling like you’re able to still be yourself during this difficult time? What type of activities are you pushing yourself to do to make sure you don’t lose yourself in quarantine?

Day 13 – Trauma while Gardening

April 5th 2020

I woke up and had a Zoom call with a few of my beautiful family members on my mom’s side. There were kids, and babies on the call as well and it was nice to see the faces of some of the most important women in my life. We exchanged quarantine stories, and shared what books we’re all currently reading, and even suggested binge-worthy shows to keep the time going.

I didn’t have champagne, but my husband made me a beer-mosa and a giant breakfast with eggs and hash browns, and then even brought it to me while I was on my call!

It was a glorious sunny day waiting for me to put on my gloves and take on that front garden bed.

After breakfast I was eager to get started. I went to the garage and gathered all my tools and had my earbuds in to block out distractions. I started the same way I did the other bed, and was raking all the random items into a corner. Then I took down the brick wall but this time the bottom layer was embedded in the ground. I would need either some different tools, or another person who might have just a bit more strength than I do.

As I was raking I remembered that their was really great soil in the backyard in some of the garden beds I had allowed to overflow with grass and other compost dumpings. I knew that if I were to get the grass and compost tilled I would have luscious soil for new flowers in the front.

The neighbors were out on both sides and were doing their own yard work while the sun was still beaming full blast. I waived since I had my headphones in but went straight to work on digging up my treasured dirt. I was going pretty hard for a solid 10 minutes that my FitBit tracked a sporting activity workout!

I was tilling so hard when I thought I heard something so I stopped. I looked around but didn’t see anything so I went back at it and tilled harder. The next thing that happened I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from…

I heard the tiniest, high pitched screams over my audio book. I instantly dropped my gardening tool and looked at the ground. There was a baby bunny that I had pierced through his belly with the spear of the garden till, and another baby bunny whose little behind I had scrapped as well.

I went into shock. I didn’t know what to do. My neighbor looked at me and told me it was going to be okay and it happens to a lot of people because rabbits dig into the ground and nest in places where they aren’t seen.

I went inside and grabbed my husband to help me since I was so terrified I had killed the bunnies. He wasn’t sure what to do because I was just screaming constantly about bunnies and he had to come outside right away but leave the dogs inside.

He helped me assess the damage to each bunny, and one of them was not good. He helped me look around the garden because I told him I had seen more bunnies run away, but we only found 1 more. Luckily he was unharmed. My husband told me to just leave them be and the mom would be back tonight, but that is not who I am. I had to do something to help the little critters survive.

My neighbor kept calling different humane societies and wildlife services but wasn’t able to get in contact with anyone, but she did text me the link to call when I had time.

I went inside and made a bowl of soapy water, grabbed some medical tape, and gloves, and went to wash the bunnies. I took each one in my hand and lightly suds their little bodies and cleaning off any blood and dirt in their fur. Then I wrapped up one of the bunnies in medical tape to help with the severity of his gouge. I put them back in their little nest and put a little wooden house over them to keep them from trying to jump around, and then left them to go sit on the front porch.

I cried so hard. I couldn’t stop crying. How had I done such a thing? I am a crazy animal lover, and deep advocate for natural wildlife and preserving it. How could this have happened? I should have noticed the rabbit fur in the garden bed, I should have assessed the area before tilling, I should have not gone so gun-ho on getting the fresh soil underneath.

I called the Humane Society and as the tears continued to roll down my cheeks, I told myself I wouldn’t hangup until I was able to talk to a person, or leave a desperate voicemail. I was on the phone listening to multiple prompts for about 15 minutes. I finally was able to leave a message. I hung up the phone and sat on the front stoop and continued to cry. I eventually went in the house, and was greeted by my husband, who then hugged me and allowed me to sob in his arms on dampen his shirt with my tears.

The humane society had called back and asked different questions about the damages, and how many bunnies, and if this was the first occurrence, etc. The request was that I put the bunnies in a cardboard box with holes, and bring them to the humane society. I would arrive at the door, ring the bell, and then leave the box to make sure there was no human contact.

I immediately grabbed a cardboard box, put a nice little cushion in the bottom, bunched up my Planned Parenthood bandana, and nestled the bunnies in the box together. I kissed my husband goodbye as I headed out to the humane society on my own.

I cried the entire way there. I was sad to let them go. I wanted to know if they were going to make it or not. I wrote a note on top of the box and asked them to call me for updates on the bunnies. I arrived at the Humane Society and said my goodbyes to Roscoe, Rocky, and Redneck. (all R’s for Rabbits). I put a $10 in the box, and rang the bell. The woman was so thoughtful and very soothing in assuring me that they’d give the best care to the bunnies. She also said she’d make a note to call me for any updates once they had a definite answer on what will happen next.

I sat in my car and cried. I knew there was only 1 person in the entire world who would help me feel better about this.

My twin.

I drove to her house (I tried calling her, but no answer) and I figured if she was home I would be able to cry (6 ft away) and she would help relieve my sadness, or if she wasn’t home I would sit in her driveway crying until she did arrive home.

When I pulled in the driveway my twin and her boyfriend (and his parents) were all outside having a beer! YAY! I got up to the gate and told her what happened and I just broke down. I told her that I couldn’t believe that all went down, and I’m a terrible person for not paying attention, and I’m going to donate all my money to the humane society to help all the wildlife.

My twin was so sweet – she continued to console me, and remind me that I wouldn’t have known, and that it happens all too often with bunnies because they dig in gardens, or even lawns and often times get run over by mowers. She truly eased my heart of the heaviness and told me she wished she could give me a hug and reminded me that I am a true animal lover, and just because an unfortunate situation happened that was a complete accident, doesn’t change that about me.

I wiped away yet some more tears as I said my goodbyes and went back to my car to go home. I texted my husband and told him where I was, and if he could make me a bloody for when I arrived home. He said he would be more than happy to do that for me.

When I got home my amazing husband had a bloody mary waiting for me – and he even put bacon in it! We went outside and played catch phrase with each other while sipping our beverages. We got a little rowdy at times! Then we decided to do a social distancing round with our neighbors. Girls versus guys of course!

We played a solid hour and did a best 2 out of 3. During the game I went to check on the bunny area and noticed another little bunny was laying in the nest. I took the advice of the humane society and took 2 crossing sticks and placed them over the hole to see if the mother would visit during the night.

After a fun night of cheering me up, we went inside to relax and have some dinner before turning in to bed.

Have you ever been in a situation that was a complete accident but you felt terrible for it happening at all and took blame on yourself? Do you have a person in your life that you can 100% depend on? Where are all the other bunnies!?

Day 14 – Happy Booday (Birthday) Twin!

April 6th 2020

Woke up on this day with the hope that the 4th found bunny would be able to get help from it’s mother. Turns out, it died in the night. My husband buried him in the front garden bed that I had fixed up a couple of days ago. I was so sad.

My husband suggested we call my twin for her birthday via facetime and remind her that today is the best day ever, since it was the day she was born. We called her up, chatted for about a half an hour, then decided – let’s go social distance with her for her booday!

We packed up the dogs, a cooler of drinks, hand sanitizer, and a jug of clorox wipes. We arrived at her house and hungout in the backyard where we didn’t need to get too close! We decided to play the Ellen game – “Heads Up” and really got into it!

My husband kept bugging us about a promo video he needed to do for his wrestling gig, so my twin and I decided – we needed to really go all out for it. Video below!!https://www.youtube.com/embed/SruZeK1g62g?version=3&rel=1&fs=1&autohide=2&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&wmode=transparent

We said our goodbyes and headed home – on our way we decided to stop for some Tbell! It was fantastic.

My twin… below is my best attempt at expressing how much I love you for your birthday present!

When we first met each other, it was simply an acquaintance – no urge to further get to know each other. Years later our paths crossed again, but this time it was instant lifelong friendship. More than friendship, it was sisterhood. You lived with my husband and I for many years with Kota and when you told us you were moving out, I was deeply emotional for 2 main reasons. 1) I didn’t want you to leave me, 2) I was thrilled you were going out on your own.

Your soul is ambitious and pure – constantly wanting to make a difference in the world. I admire that about you the most. Your heart is kind and full – everyday looking to help your friends and family, and always trying to cheer them up, or make them smile. Your personality is charismatic and strong – I can’t name a time when we didn’t have fun, or weren’t laughing, or trying to be silly together. You are fierce and you persevere and want others to go forward with you.

It’s hard to imagine you not in my life but this is what I came to think it would be like;

My life would be unfulfilled.

I never would have experienced Paris the way you encouraged us to. I never would have had gone out on the lake in the summers on the paddle boat and laughed and cried and released so many terrible memories I was holding on to. I never would have played kickball and learned so much about the rules of the game, or won 2 championships, or would have had to google how to treat gouge wounds and have bought a gallon of peroxide. I never would have gone to SummerFest so many nights and danced, and drank, and sang at the top of my lungs and not have a voice the next day. I never would have cleaned out the spare bedroom or the basement. I never would have made it through planning my wedding, and my wedding day. I never would have pushed myself to be a strong big sister who would kick anyone’s ass who would mess with another person. I never would have had the most epic Halloween Party with food, drinks, games, contests, prizes, and vivid memories. I never would have been so confident in myself as a woman and encourage women to boost themselves and share ourselves with each other.

The list is certainly endless of the things you’ve done for me in my life by making me feel fulfilled. You are the best-est best friend I could ever have.

Happy Booday!!!

Day 15 – Love Is Blind

April 7th 2020

Woke up to a pile of dishes and a show suggestion from my Sunday Zoom Call – LOVE IS BLIND.

One thing about me is that I am fully intrigued by social experiments and psychological observation. I took AP Psychology in high school and decided I wanted to go into Psychology as my major in College. (I switched directions, but still took many classes). I love Freud and Pavlov and Jung, and all the other path creators in the psychology world. My passion for the brain and how it functions and emotions and intentions and actions are always being studied during my daily life.

I immediately loved the show. My favorite were Cameron and Lauren. Their connection was natural and neither of them asked about what the other looked like – it was strictly learning about who the person is, what they like, what they want in life, goals, future family, etc.

I was able to hook my husband into watching a couple of episodes with me. It was refreshing to watch the show with him because we would stop the show, talk about the couples, and discuss the experiment, and how we felt about what was going on. We laughed about some of the personalities on the show, and who was engaged, and if they were going to make it, and if the connection was real.

After a couple of episodes it was time to take the dogs on a serious walk. We walked for over an hour and 20 minutes – it was our longest walk yet! Took a different route, but still came back on North Ave so we could stop at Ray’s for a few beverages.

It was a long and warm walk so we brought out the kiddie pool for the pups! Below is Sluggo enjoying standing in the pool. Even without water!

We continued to relax outside with the dogs, and decided to play “Heads Up” again with each other. We played for over a half an hour and could not stop laughing at each other’s descriptions of the answer to be guessed.

After we went inside and had some dinner – I saw that my cousin had posted a request on Facebook to Family and Friends to help with her daughter’s 6th birthday party! Since we’re in quarantine she wasn’t able to have her party that was planned. Her daughter loves watching makeup tutorials on YouTube and did a tutorial herself. She asked for family and friends to do her tutorial and then post back what the finished project looked like. I was instantly interested in watching her video and then following her instructions, and obviously it would be on my husband!! He was such a great sport about it, and even let me put fake eyelashes on him.

Have you ever done a makeup tutorial? Did you like how it turned out? Would you do a makeup tutorial that was done by a 6 year old?

A memory below from a couple years ago during this time…

Day 16 – Laundry & L.I.B.

April 8th 2020

Whenever I make meals and dirty up the pans and dishes and silverware, it’s 9 times out of 10 that my husband does the dishes. When I make a mess with the items that need to be cleaned, he always asks “Are you going to be dirtying up any dishes?” and my response is always “Are you going to be dirtying up any clothes?”

I do the laundry and I love it. It honestly relaxes me to get this chore done, and I get to watch shows or play my own music in the background – and all the apparel is put away neatly and organized.

My husband showed me a video with a new trend #dontrush. I looked it up and apparently it was started from a group of girls that are “caught” in their lounge wear but a makeup brush is thrown to them, the cover the camera, and instantly they are transformed into going out ready. It was impressive! My husband asked me to help him with a video with him doing something similar with his wrestling guys where they are caught outside of the ring and after the camera is covered he is in his wrestling gear. Well…. I love making funny videos and I told him I would be all in.

Below is my favorite article regarding the beginning of #dontrush

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/dont-rush-challenge-creator

The entire day all I did was laundry and had on LoveIsBlind in the background. My husband came upstairs and watched the show with me – it took the entire day to finish the show because we kept pausing the show to have discussions about it. We also asked each other questions about our personal behaviors because we kept seeing how the couples were interacting with each other, and we were questioning the way we treat each other. We went into a deep conversation about how we notice that we hurt each other sometimes and it’s never on purpose, we know we’re going to do it again, and it’s never malicious.

I have a nasty way with words sometimes. If a person pushes me too far, I will use my deepest, meanest, thoughts and say them to people to intentionally hurt them.

Wow. I am a total B*%&$.

I have been trying so hard lately to hold back how I express my anger, or frustration with someone. I know that it’s not fair to attack them that way.

Is there something about yourself that you are working on? Have you started to work on it because you noticed it, or because others told you?

Day 17 – Cleaning our Taxes

April 9th 2020

Woke up with the urge to deep clean every room in the house.

I asked my husband if he would be willing to help me with the bathroom and the living room. He said “No problem!” – but there is a problem… his definition of clean the bathroom and my definition are very different. His “cleaning” consists of: he wipes off the counter and swishes the cleaner around the toilet. I asked him if he would be willing to clean the bathroom the way I usually clean it. He said he’d definitely give it a try.

Bathroom includes- toilet (bowl, lid, sides, top), sink, counter, floor, shower, mirror, lights, faucets, garbage can, towels, curtain, and window.

He went straight to work and warned me that it might not be as high quality as when I clean it, but he would “clean” all those things.

While he was assessing his first move, I went into the office to start the dreaded taxes. I know that with the pandemic everything was pushed back, but ALSO with the pandemic we’re tight on money and could really use the help with the bills.

After a couple of hours of sifting through papers, calculating expenses, trying to remember passwords to accounts barely used, twisting my husbands arm to get me his information, 4 cups of coffee, and too many phone calls to customer service; the taxes still weren’t done.

I needed to step away!

I checked to see how my husband was doing with the cleaning of the bathroom. His exact words were “I am never doing this ever again. I will do any other chore you prefer before I have to do this again. I will hire a cleaning lady, or Taren to do this. I am never doing this again.”

HAHAHAA!!! See?! Cleaning the bathroom is NOT that easy!!!

I told him I’m glad he now appreciates how hard I work to make sure that our bathroom is continuously sparkly!

He had to get ready to head over to a friends house to do an Instagram live video for wrestling fans. I made us some dinner and he headed out.

Time for painting with friends!!! I also found a wine glass that holds an entire bottle of wine so I decided to try that bad boy out on the call.

After painting with friends I chatted with Heather for a bit after the call and decided to try coloring.

As a person who has friends and families that know of my anxiety they feel the need to give me things they have read “work well for people with anxiety.” My loving sister decided to give me a Harry Potter adult coloring book.

Now, I know what works well for me and what doesn’t work well for me. This beautiful present was not a relaxing thing… this thing created more anxiety for me. I would look at it and start breathing heavy because all the intricate details need to be colored.

Whelp!!! I have also been reading a book that helps you work through a few different exercises with worrying and anxiety and one of them is to face the things that give you anxiety. For instance this coloring book. It’s time to face my fears and to attack the coloring book. It’s going to be okay if I don’t fil in each of the items or have the correct colors – isn’t that what coloring is supposed to be? You’re own interpretation of the colors of the scene?

Below is the progression so far of my coloring…..

After the call with Heather I continued to color but encouraged myself to enjoy it, instead of “forcing” myself to color.

I stayed up pretty late doing different snapchat videos and sending them out – my friend Annie told me to make my vidoes into TikToks? I had no idea my videos were that funny… but hey… what the hell! I told her I made it into a TikTok and she was excited to see how many views I got!!

My husband finally arrived home and he hung out on the bed in the office while I continued to color.

We finally drifted to sleep together while the music played in the background.

TikTok? What am I getting myself into?! Slowly becoming obsessed with the dumb videos!!!! Have you made any TikToks? Are you going to? What are you searching in the latest trends right now??

Day 18 – #DontRush

April 10th 2020

As the day started my husband had reminded me of the request from a couple of days ago to help him make his video for wrestling associated with the #dontrush phenomenon.

I’M IN!!!

I LOVE making videos. I took a directing class in High School – at the time I thought I loved acting – but in reality, I LOVE directing/producing. The gratification I feel to bring the story together, find the right props, rearranged sentences with better verbiage, position people or things in a better light, doing multiple takes, editing the video, and to watch the final production.

Our entire day revolved around making this video. It wasn’t just 1 part of a video but it was 4 different parts. It also had transitions in the video that needed to be timed just right so that the next shot looked instant. The infatuation with this video was consuming. I needed this video to be the best. My husband also wanted it to be that way. We agreed that it didn’t matter how many takes we had to do – each section of the video needed to be 100.

I’m not saying it was easy – because my husband and I fought often over which part of the short videos we took were good or bad, what could be done better, how should this frame appear? It was endless back and forth. We were arguing, but only because both of us wanted this video to be superior to the other ones.

His wrestling crew was giving him a hard time making comments on how long it was taking for him to film a short 16 second video. HA! Jokes on them… ours turned out to be SUPREME! Everyone else in the video you could tell didn’t put enough time in the transitions or the story. We finally sent them the video when we were good and ready!!

One of my husband’s wrestling friends said “worth the wait”!!

Below is a link to the video on facebook – but also another video for TikTok for our portion of the video.https://www.facebook.com/v2.3/plugins/video.php?allowfullscreen=true&app_id=249643311490&channel=https%3A%2F%2Fstaticxx.facebook.com%2Fconnect%2Fxd_arbiter.php%3Fversion%3D46%23cb%3Df12de0718328a7%26domain%3Dfiercefive.blog%26origin%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Ffiercefive.blog%252Ff73e5ed455c6f4%26relation%3Dparent.parent&container_width=740&href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Falexandra.haroldson%2Fvideos%2F10215973900012478%2F&locale=en_US&sdk=joey

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/v2/6814527008651988230?lang=en-US

After the videos it was time to enjoy a few drinks and relax!! We ate dinner, turned on the tv for some movies, and kept laughing at the video and continuously replaying it over and over and over….

As we were on the couch I received a message from my coworker/little sister that she was in need of a friend. 100% hands down no questions asked I told her to come over to my house. I told her that it’s okay and she will always have a safe haven in my home. She came over for a little bit and as we sat in the kitchen talking, I could tell she was starting to feel a little bit better. It’s important to sometimes put other’s needs before our own. It’s not always easy or comfortable, but it might just make a huge difference to someone, if you just listen.

What sort of inner creativeness is coming out of you during quarantine? Have you sparked up an interest you always enjoyed but it fell to the wayside? What are you going to do with it?

Day 19 – All events Canceled

April 11th 2020

Today was when Twin and I had our 5k planned. CANCELED. Twin’s planned birthday party at Miller Park – tailgating, booze, grilling, koozies, giveaways, frisbee, bean bag toss, blaring music, random friends, 394 bathroom breaks. CANCELED. Sleepover with twin and dogs and kicking the boys out of our room to fall asleep together. CANCELED.

EVERYTHING IS CANCELED.

I didn’t wake up until about 12:30pm. Why? BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS CANCELED.

Only thing in the house that needed tending to was the laundry. So I did laundry. For about 3 hours.

I also reached out to a friend of mine that I had met at my husband’s holiday party in Boston back in December. KD from Dallas. She is the sweetest Texan ever – and I cannot believe what a great connection we had at the party. I wanted to check in with her and make sure that she knew that our friendship wasn’t a one weekend stand!! It was so nice talking to her, catching up, sharing stories of work, quarantine, boys, family, pets, and just about anything else we might have missed in the last couple of months!

It was such a beautiful day and it was starting to get close to missing our walk – so we leashed up the doggies and went out for an hour and 21 minutes! We stopped at Ray’s and the line was around the parking lot! With everyone having to stand 6ft apart we had to wait to get inside the store. Once we finally had our beverages we headed home. On the way home we saw a group of women walking and noticed they all had koozies with drinks in their hands…. interesting… so did we! As we passed them I raised my beverage yelled “Cheers! Happy Easter!” and they responded with laughter and raised their beverages too with a joyful “Cheers! Happy Easter!”

We were a little late to the call… but once we logged on, we saw that a majority of our family was wearing our shirts we had sent out! My Uncle Trig is such a caring person, and has really made an impact on my husband and my life recently. I cannot thank him enough for always promoting my husband and his wrestling. It’s so cool to have that connection with him.

The call was only about an hour long – but it was still nice to see everyone and a lot of my cousin’s had their children on the call too! I just love seeing all my cousins with their children and all the laughter and talking over each other. It’s truly one of my favorite calls.

After the call I talked with my mom and she invited me to her Zoom call for Happy Hour with her lady friends too!

I enjoy Zoom calls! They are very addicting. I had some white claw while my mom and her friends had wine, and my sister was on the call too and she had a moscow mule! We were on the call for about an hour talking about what we’ve been doing in quarantine, what we miss, what we want to do as soon as this is over, and encouraged each other that we’re all going to get out of this stronger friends than ever.

I had also received a message from my cousin and his wife out in Maine that they wanted to have a Zoom call as well!

I settled in on the couch and prepared myself for the Zoom call…. I knew what they wanted to talk about. We got on and said our pleasantries and they said they had something to discuss with my husband and I. I told them I already knew.

My sister and her husband, and my other cousin and his wife, and my husband and I were all planning on visiting them in Maine this summer.

CANCELED!

I &$*%ing knew it!!!

I told them I was sad, but that I completely understood where they were coming from. They are pregnant, and traveling, and finding places to stay, and flights, and all kinds of different factors played into COVID-19 and “postponing” the “MAINE EVENT”. My cousin assured me that it was not canceled, but in the spirit of Easter it will be later RESURRECTED.

After the call I sat on the couch with my husband for a little bit and had some beverages while he played NBA2K.

Everything is Canceled. 2020 is canceled.

The only thing not canceled is Zoom calls. I’ve attended all of those so far!

What recently has been canceled that you are bummed about? Even if it’s something that was this summer that was pushed back, or a trip, or a party? A sporting event?

Day 20 – Happy Easter(ish)

April 12th 2020

Rolled over in bed to look at a missed call, text, and facebook message from my mom. Today is the day my husband and I were going to go to the farm, sit on the porch, and have Easter dinner with my mom and dad.

CANCELED.

My husband wasn’t feeling well and we didn’t want to go to the farm and expose my parents to anything.

I called my mom and told her the situation – I told her how sad I was but that it was the better decision for everyone. She told me she would drop off a couple of plates of food for my husband and I – and that she wouldn’t even see us – just let us know when the food was dropped off. I told her that would be very considerate of her, and I would appreciate the dropoff.

*$#& no I’m not okay with this!!!!!

I miss my mom so much. The quarantine madness is setting into my emotions and I cannot believe I’m not going to see my family on Easter – especially my mom.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went back to my bed, sprawled out face down, and cried. I #&$^ing miss my mom. I want to hug her, see her face, laugh at stupid jokes, go golfing, embrace the sunshine, and have her fill my love tank with all her reasons she loves me.

I was texting friends and family during the day to try and cheer myself up. My twin was helping me feel better through text – she understood how much this is really affecting my social extrovert self.

I had been doing chores around the house when I had a craving for a mimosa. I told my husband I was going to go to Ray’s and grab ingredients for a mimosa, but also pick up my mom’s wine from Ray’s so that she wouldn’t stop by and try to get it herself.

I went to Ray’s with my bandanna face mask, gloves, hand sanitizer, and wipes. The workers were all super friendly and I thanked them all for their help with working on Easter Sunday. A woman even helped carry out my mom’s case of wine so that I could carry the rest of my beverages.

When I got home I wiped down all the wine bottles and box, and told my husband I was going to put it out on the front stoop for my mom when she “drove by” later in the afternoon.

He told me to go outside but to wait with the box because the Easter Bunny had stopped by while I was out.

When I went outside there was a lemon white claw and a bottle of Pineapple Mimosa on the porch with a note from my TWIN!!! She knew how sad I was feeling made me feel so much better just by dropping it off.

I started to cry.

It was such a beautiful gesture. I texted her and told her how much I appreciated it, and that she honestly is the bestest for trying to cheer me up.

I poured mimosas for my husband and I and we had a little Easter Cheers. I told my mom I bought stuff for mimosas and she asked if I wanted to do a cheers to her from our house and she was in the car. I told her that would really help with my sadness.

My husband and I moved a couple of chairs and a table outside – grabbed some blankets and hand wipes, and my parents pulled up as we were settling in outside.

My dad brought the tray of food/glasses and set it on our stoop. I put the case of wine in my moms trunk with no interaction.

We all grabbed a glass and “air cheers-ed” !

We sat and talked outside for over and hour. I couldn’t have been happier to have physically seen my mom and dad!

My mom even brought me chalk for the sidewalk and a SpongeBob deck of cards to play with.

After they left my husband and I heated up the ham and rolls, ate the big salad, and finished with chocolate chip cookies my mom baked.

The meal was so delicious and fulfilling. My husband and I were going to get the dogs and go for a walk! I got my items together and went to lay down while he finished getting ready and fell asleep!!

Whoops!

I woke up to my husband playing videos games and I was still incredibly groggy. My sciatic was also starting to irritate me and I couldn’t position my body in any way that would ease the pain.

I kissed him goodnight – got ready for bed – and went upstairs to lay down and relax without the dogs bothering me.

I messaged my twin again to let her know that I love her so much and was incredibly thankful for her kindness today.

How is everyone doing during the quarantine? Have you expressed to people if you are struggling? Have you been reaching out to others to give them strength in case they are struggling?

This is a difficult time – but we’re all going through it – we need to continue to show compassion towards each other.

Day 21 – Happy Birthday Sister & Uncle Trig!

April 13th 2020

Had a video call with my sister!!! She is truly a phenomenal woman and I can’t believe how much she has accomplished!

For my sister on her birthday – here is my expression of my love for you!

Growing up all I wanted was to hangout with you – and I know I was your little sister “the pest”. Even as we got older, I still just wanted to be with you! Be your best friend, know what you were thinking, who you were dating, what you were studying, where you were traveling. I have always been drawn to you.

You are in the top 3 female role models in my life. Not just because you are my “older” sister, but because the specific type of woman you are. I know I can call you and talk to you about anything, and you will sometimes tell me “that sucks” or “it will be okay”, and sometimes you give me advice on how to move forward.

You are hilarious. And not just teehehe giggles- but boisterous laughter! Your jokes sometimes are puns, but you always know how to slip a zinger in there. I love hearing your laugh too. It reminds me that my loud laugh is okay, and that whatever laugh you possess you should let it roar.

You are a spectacular mother to my sobrina. You are constantly giving her love, encouraging her, redirecting her behavior, teaching her about strong females, speaking in Spanish to her, having her explore the yard, video call with her family that is in Wisconsin. I cannot tell you how many different instances I have jotted down notes for my future occurrences with my own children and the type of parent I want to be for them, because of you!

I remember when you played “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John for me in the car – and you told me that I was your tiny dancer. When I had my recital and they announced my name at the end of the production – you were the loudest clapper and you cheered my name! I’ll never forget that. I was so happy to find out that you were in the audience and that you had seen my dance. I was the only one who received a verbal applause “YEAH ALEX!”

Throughout my life with my sports teams, and my dance recitals, and my school projects you were my biggest fan. You always pushed me no matter what passion I was interested in at the time. If I wanted to run away to the circus and spin plates you would have helped me invest in the best platters that were fastest and sturdiest for spinning.

Everyday I remind myself how much I want to be like you. It’s hard to not compare myself to someone who is constantly accomplishing success after success! I always knew that you were mom and dad’s favorite and that NEVER bothered me, because you were my favorite too.

I know we always tell each other that we’re each other’s favorite sister – and yes maybe it’s just the 2 of us… but you really are my favorite. You are more than a sister to me, you are my ever-knowing book of wisdom that I know I can ask you anything, or approach you about anything.

After my call with my sister I did some writing and tidied up the office a little bit.

To my Uncle Trig on your birthday. I cannot tell you how much of an impact you’ve had on my life recently. You truly are a family man, and it lifts my heart with how much you’ve been helping my husband and I with his wrestling gear – and also trying to get the entire family to wear it too! Majority of our shirts and koozies have been bought out by that side of my family.

Growing up my Uncle Trig always scared me – and I think it was the mustache. Now I think his mustache is so $*%&ing badass. I love sharing a beer/growler with him. I love when he shows me the projects he’s working on. I love when he urges me to get a moped or motorcycle with less than 60cc because then I don’t need a motorcycle license to drive it. I love when he asks me about the same job I had over 8 years ago but I don’t care – I just remind him that I work for a place that decorates apparel now. I love when he wanted to be part of witnessing the signing of my marriage license with my husband on our wedding day. I love that he danced so hard all night at my wedding. I love that he made sure that he gave me a Swedish Cookbook when I visited him. I love that 4 sticks of butter in the stuffing still isn’t enough. I love his spritz cookies and that he always makes me take a full container of them home with me.

Uncle Trig – you are 1 of a kind. I can’t express enough how much I love you – and that you are OBVIOUSLY my favorite Uncle. CHEERS!

My husband and I were ready for an early walk since I had more calls later that day. We took the dogs on an hour and 14 minute walk with our usual stop at Ray’s.

When we arrived home I jumped on my Zoom call with my mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law! We had a great time talking about working and not working, unemployment, parks, walks, and when this is all over how we’re going to party in Milwaukee!

Both mom’s left the call and my sister-in-law and I stayed on a little bit longer to chat about more sisterly type of things 😉 – We also decided we were going to start a TV Show watching group! It would be a series or documentary or movie and we would have 1 week to watch it and then we would have a group Zoom discussion on what we liked/didn’t like/learned/felt after watching the show.

We decided on the AppleTV show “SEE”. Zoom meeting on Sunday!

After the Zoom call my husband and I meet on the couch and watched the movie “ONWARD”.

Let me tell you about this movie… if you have a sibling that is older than you and took care of you like a parent did (eh-hem… me…) be prepared to ball your eyes out. It was such a beautiful story about family and coming together and finding out who you are and what you want to be. I loved every minute of it!

My husband and I also did the drinking game to the movie… see below!!!

After the movie my husband played some video games and I went upstairs to bed.

Do you have siblings that you cherish? Do you have siblings that you don’t talk to? What relationship do you have with in-laws? Good/bad? Who else do you consider to be family even if not by blood?

Day 22 – Sciatic Bull$*%#

April 14th 2020

I did not sleep well. I was restless all night and could not get comfortable. My sciatic was not calming down, but getting exponentially worse. I stretched, I had my husband massage my legs, I went back and forth on the foam roller, I rubbed on icyhot – NOTHING WORKED.

On top of all that it was SNOWING!!!!

I took some melatonin to try and help me sleep for a couple of hours, but of course that did not work at all.

I looked up home remedies and what else could be done to remove the tension in my muscles just so I could have even a few minutes without agony in my legs up my back and my neck. The best one that I could do without having to leave the house was a hot bath with epsom salts.

I ran the bath and my husband helped bring in boiling water to keep the temperature up. My muscles were starting to relax. FINALLY! I was in the bath for over and hour just enjoying the time without strain on my sciatic. I did an intense hyaluronic acid face mask while I was in the tub to help with my skin. I also had about a gallon of water so help flush out any toxins that might be causing the inflammation in my nerves.

I eventually had to get out of the bath though… pruning was setting in.

I didn’t want to go on a walk because I was worried I would irritate my sciatic again.

Instead I decided to go to bed early and try to not think about the discomfort coming back.

I haven’t done anything so why would my sciatic be so inflamed?! Have you gone through any sort of pain or discomfort recently and you have used home remedies for it? What was it, and what did you use?

Day 23 – There are no rules

April 15th 2020

Woke up early and headed downstairs to try and make breakfast before my husband and the doggies got out of bed.

I always start the hashbrowns first since they take the longest – in the meantime I started the show “SEE” so that I could have material to discuss with the group on Sunday. I was about halfway down with the hashbrowns when I went into the fridge to get out the eggs and there weren’t any….

My husband wokeup and walked into the kitchen and I told him the terrible news. He told me not to fear, for he would go to the grocery store to pick up some eggs for us!

YAY!!!

I texted him photos a few of the essential items that I needed while he was out.

When he pulled into the driveway I went out to help him with carrying in a load – he was NOT happy. I stayed inside and sanitized everything while he continued to bring in more groceries.

I finished making breakfast while he relaxed on the couch after the horrible experience at the store. He said it was overcrowded – people were not social distancing – too many families complaining about stock issues – and grouchy drama starting patrons that tried to involve other people.

I started “SEE” on AppleTV for our “Series watching Club”. It was definitely a good pick. If you haven’t heard anything about it, I highly suggest reading about it on IMDb and start binging. Jason Momoa is in it and he’s phenomenal!

I received a text from my employer saying that we might be going back to work next week – even though the governor has not lifted the “Stay at home” yet. I was confused because the reason we closed was because we were told we’re “nonessential” but in fact we are – we decorate clothing for first responders, hospitals, and grocery stores. I was eager to get back to work of course – but I was unsure of how I was feeling with 100% going back.

Time for a walk with the dogs! We went for 1hour and 16 minutes! 4 and a half miles. When we stopped at Ray’s it was BUMPIN! A lot of people were looking to day drink I guess!! Took over a half hour. DANG!!

After we arrived home and had some food – it was time for a Zoom call “LADIES NIGHT” with my twin and AKA. I thought it would be fun to have some wine and chat and catch up a little bit. Per usual my husband wanted to come on the call and chat for a little bit.

I invited the ladies to my “series watching club” and they both are in! Time to start binging 🙂

I said goodnight to the ladies and went to the living room to see what my husband was up to. He was playing GTA and I wanted to hangout with him for a bit together on the couch. I downloaded a word game on my phone and kept playing levels until 2am!!! FACE PALM!

My sleep schedule is completely WACKO! I have no idea what day or time it is anymore. I’m starting to get nervous that I’ll never get back to 100% normalcy!!

Are you staying on a sleep schedule during quarantine? Is the family keeping up with the change? Or has your house gone to chaos? What are you doing each day to try and keep yourself sane???

Day 24 – Dog Days

April 16th 2020

Woke up to a text from Z to call him about possibly working on Monday…. ummmm YES! I called him to talk over the game plan. It would only be 2 days and it would mainly be to get out the rest of the orders that were due mid-late March. Nothing crazy right now- and it would be a very limited amount of people that would be going back. I said I would be fine with it as long as everyone would continue to keep their distance, and wear masks, and the place would be disinfected.

I called LittleSister/coworker to discuss her and I going in together. She was all for it! We do a lot of work collaboratively on the daily so it makes the most sense for us to be on the same shift. We discussed how the day would go, what our expectations were of us, and of course where we would be buying lunch for our break.

She also asked me if I would be okay watching her doggies this coming weekend for her while she went to Missouri with her boyfriend to go pickup some bees. I was 100% down for that. Her doggies are the cutest little naughters and I love giving them scratchies and lovies. Tomorrow I would meet at her house to go over everything that was needed for the pups while she would be out.

Slayers are ON FIRE today! Many texts about workouts, accomplishments, goals, and positive encouragement. I was loving the heightened push from within and onto each other. It’s motivating when you are surrounded with people who are constantly looking to achieve more. It was definitely an inspiring day from the Slayers.

I cannot thank these ladies enough for how much they keep me sane. I would totally be losing my $%&# if I didn’t have them to keep me focused. They are such strong women and I know that this world has big things coming for all of us.

My husband and I took an earlier walk with the dogs so that I could get back in time for a Zoom call with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and soon to be additional sister-in-law. We went for an hour and 20 minutes!!

On the walk we stopped at a park so sit on the swings and enjoy ourselves for a little bit. The dogs LOVED going on the playground!! Bernie especially loved going on the swings, and down the slide.

Home JUST IN TIME for the zoom call! It was a great time to chat with my ladies – especially since my sister-in-law and soon to be sister-in-law and I had a great talk about her wedding plans! We want everything to be awesome for her and whatever she needs help with, we’re going to do it for her 100%!!!!

After a 2 hour call it was time for some dinner and hangout with my boys. We had such a long eventful day with the park and walk that everyone was tuckered out.

My husband and I decided it was time to watch the movie OUTBREAK! Definitely topical to what is happening in the world today. Drinking game instructions below!!

During OUTBREAK the adult beverages were kicking in – and we were starting to get goofy! We didn’t end up going to bed until after 2am again!!!

My husband and I have been enjoying our daily walks with the doggies together. We have some sort of a routine with meals and the walks, but otherwise we are all over the place with time.

Are you working or at home? Is your spouse/significant other working or at home? If the both of you are home are you together constantly? Do you take your alone time?

Keep this momentum going team!!!

Day 25 – Change of Scenery

April 17th 2020

Woke up multiple times during the night and it took forever for me to fall back asleep. Anxious with a handful of insomnia.

I finally was able to get back to bed for a couple of hours but didn’t wake up until 11:30am.

My husband was so sweet and made breakfast in bed for me – he even made cinnamon rolls!!! He overheard me saying the other day how badly I wanted some and when he went to the store a few days ago, he picked up a package of them.

I got my tuchus out of bed finally, and texted with the Slayers before I had to head over to LittleSister/Coworkers house.

The Slayers are still kickin @$$ and taking names. I couldn’t be more proud of them.

Got myself packed up and on my way to LittleSister/Coworkers house to go over the plans for the doggies!!! She had a list of the daily rundowns, and how much food/water to give, walks, potty breaks, playtime, and nighttime routines. It was a short visit but I was glad to see in person where everything was located and have the doggies sniff me so they knew who would be back later that night. LittleSister/Coworker gave me some of her homemade chili too!!! I couldn’t wait to try it. She instructed it must be eaten with a peanut butter sandwich. Hmm…. okay!!

Since I was out and about (with my mask and gloves on) I stopped at Walgreens to see if they had any thermometers (which they didn’t) or face masks (which they didn’t) or some gloves (which they didn’t). Instead I walked out with some white claws, water, and chips.

I was across the street from Target so I thought I’d try to see what they had there…. no thermometers or face masks, but they had plastic gloves! I was feeling extremely melancholy recently and since I was at Target I decided to take my time and roam around the aisles for a little bit. I found some paints for my “painting with friends” Zoom calls. I bought a little candle making kit to keep me occupied, and a few other random essentials (vitamins, TP,) before heading back home.

I had a call with a friend of my moms to go over a project she needs help with for her company and wants me to help with their social media accounts. Something to do!!

Time for a walk with the doggies – we went for 1 hour and 5 minutes. We stopped by the park to take a picture by the kickball field we used to play at.

OVERHEAT!!!!!!!

Time to try the Missouri chili with peanut butter sandwiches!!! I sincerely liked it, and will never have chili without a peanut butter sandwich again – my husband on the other hand said it wasn’t for him. Still proud of him for trying it!!!

It was so delicious and I was so full that I ended up passing out on the couch for a couple of hours!!!

When I woke up it was time to head over to take out the doggies! Caine and Molly ❤

We went for a little walk, but it was dark outside and there aren’t really any lights around the house outside and I felt a little creeped out! Then back inside for some kibbles and lovies. Played for a solid half hour and then went back outside for another walk. Caine and Molly are such good doggies. They both wanted to keep playing and it was difficult for me to put them away when I was leaving. I promised them I’d be back in the morning though to spend more time with them!

After I parked my car in the garage and headed to the house – a man came out of the shadows and it scared the crap out of me! I almost screamed too since why would someone be lurking around the alleyway like that?

Once inside I went over to my husband on the couch and instantly realized he had a few cocktails! Not mad – just hilarious. He was on a group call with his wrestling buddies and they were being a bunch of goofs. I loved it.

I headed upstairs for bed since I was going to have to get up early to let out Molly and Caine again!

How are your pets doing during quarantine? Do they love the attention? Or have you been at work and not been able to play with them all day? Do you pet your fish often?

Day 26 – Shirts! Shirts! Shirts!

April 18th 2020

Woke up a little late but immediately threw my shoes on, hopped in the car, and drove to Caine and Molly!

Caine was not impressed to see me – he went over to the window to see if his actual owners were home to pet him. Molly was excited though – and she did such a good job in her crate! NO ACCIDENTS!!! YAYY!!!!

We took a long walk around the yard, had some breakfast, and played together for 45 minutes. They love to play with each other too – it’s cute to see them run after each other like a little game of tag. I was amused by their sibling love.

Breakfast and a few shirts to ship out that day. I put a post on facebook about the shipment and how thankful we were for everyone’s purchases. I was getting notifications left and right about how more people could buy! We did a special with free shipping so it was en fuego! I spent over 2 hours sifting texts and calls about who wants what and where it’s going. It was uplifting to have all the love shown from our family and friends who want to help us out.

I put together a worksheet for inventory and all the purchases from who and what sizes, and who paid or not, and if the product was shipped or not. 90% of the shirts were purchased by my dad’s side of the family! WAHOO!!!

NEW COLORS
Folding for faster grabbing of sizes and inventory checks

Since the morning flew by so fast – it was time to head to the post office to send out all the packages to everyone. I shipped 13 boxes that day! Wahwah WeeWah! I couldn’t get the self checkout to work so I had to get in the line for someone to help me. The worker in the post office was so patient and kind during all of it, especially since everything had to be individually weighed and measured. Everything is being shipped and should arrive to our customers in the next couple of days. Everyone also received extra koozies and Manservant shirts!

MOVIN MERCH!!!!

Caine was somewhat excited to see me – but still went to the window to see if the real owners were outside or not. Molly had a few accidents in the house, but at least they were in just one area!? We went for an hour long walk together and I sent LittleSister/Coworker PLENTY of videos and photos of them being good doggies. I finally was able to get Molly to go to the bathroom after a little hint from LittleSister/Coworker on her “special poop spot”.

Caine
Molly

They were ready to go back inside and relax after our long walk!

Once home my husband and the doggies were ready for me to go on a walk with THEM now!!

Greedy little B@$t@rds!

We went for an hour and 22 minutes! Our new little tradition is to stop at the park and relax for a little bit and enjoy a beverage.

We stopped at Ray’s and grabbed a few more items for our walk. Then proceeded to get home and make some dinner.

I showered and got ready for the night since we were invited to a bonfire with some of my husband’s wrestling buddies. Coincidentally he lived only 6 minutes from the doggies so we could let the dogs out and then head over to the social distancing bonfire.

I let out Caine and Molly one last time. They both did so well on the leashes and were even good for my husband since he was there with me. We said goodbye and gave them big hugs and kisses!!

We went to the bonfire and had a great time just hanging out with everyone. It was fun to see my husband enjoying himself with his friends! We ended up staying pretty late and drank too much – so we had to stay the night!

Any social distancing activities you like to do? Or are you doing actual distancing and staying home and away from everyone? What is something new you’ve done since COVID-19? Are you getting cabin fever yet?

Day 27 – SEE

April 19th 2020

Slept til about NOON! What a waste of a gorgeous day.

My husband had made some breakfast for the both of us – he brought me some egg sandwiches, and all of a sudden I heard a “GODDAMMIT” in the kitchen and decided to check out what had happened…

My husband had made an entire batch of bacon and accidentally hit the plate over and it was all over the kitchen floor.

I could NOT stop laughing – I felt terrible for him – it was just a hilarious situation and how it had happened.

A portion of where the bacon fell 😦

I told him about my Zoom call later that evening about the “Series Watching Club” and he instructed me to sit my butt down on the couch and get to watching so I’d be ready to lead the discussion that night.

I watched 6+ hours of the series and during each episode continued to think of different questions to email to the group.

It was a different show than I usually watch – and it was weird to get in to at first – but I’m excited for the next season. There are just so many questions I have left unanswered! (Typical drama!!) A little topical as well since it’s about a family/village that comes out of a pandemic where everyone is blind.

CRAZINESS!!!

Watch it – you’ll appreciate so many things about your sight.

Time for the call with the ladies – it was my twin, AKA, my sister-in-law and her roommate. We chatted for a solid hour! I love having calls with different groups of people in my life – everyone has new opinions and questions to bring to the table and it’s so intriguing to me!

I was exhausted from the lack of sleep (under 5 hours) but my mind was racing with so many different emotions. I couldn’t quite relax yet but I forced myself to lay in bed and take some breaths to ease some anxiousness.

Tomorrow I go to work for the first time in a month… what’s it going to be like? Who all will be there? Is it going to be easy to jump back into it? Will I know where to pickup where I left off? I’m supposed to be excited to go back, and I am, but I’m unsure. Everything is unknown.

Am I supposed to feel a certain type of way? How do you feel about physically going back into your work building?

Day 28 – First Day Back…

April 20th 2020

Happy 420 everyone! Couldn’t have picked a better day back than this.

Coffee protein shake made – random items grabbed for lunch – and ready for my first day back!!

I can’t find my keys…

Had to wake up the husband to help me find my keys – and I still have to pick up LittleSister/Coworker since we’re carpooling together!! My husband finally found my keys and I sprinted to my car to get on the road!

I picked up LittleSister/Coworker and we were off to Mid-City for some apparel check-in and order checking out.

When we arrived Z greeted us and gave us our masks to put on. We are not allowed to “clock-in/clock-out” like normal to avoid everyone touching the keyboard and mouse. We arrive at 7am and leave at 3:30pm. We were given gloves and a bottle of hand sanitizer.

We got to work right away – there were stacks of boxes waiting for us to get through. My priority was to find the items that needed to be embroidered so that I could get them in the line for Severa since her line was low.

As we were going through the piles of items strewn about – I found a frog!!! A FREAKING FROG!!!

Andrea was able to grab it and showed it to everyone working and then brought it outside to set in the wet grass. WHEW! It was a big one too.

I had the pandora blasting with our tunes and we just kept going through boxes, and orders, and different apparel all day. It was a bit awkward at first, but then we got in the groove after a solid hour. I logged into my emails and our online ordering platform and it was as if I never left.

Lunch came around and we both agreed it was a Sendiks kind of day! As usual my eyes were bigger than my stomach!!!

After lunch it was back to the grind – LittleSister/Coworker and I were determined to pack as many orders as possible for customers to either pickup curbside, or for one of the owners to drop off.

The tunes were BUMPIN and we turned on some Nicki Minaj and some Iggy. I found out that LittleSister/Coworker has a love for those women rappers like I do! It was fun to sing along to some of the raunchy lyrics together.

3:30pm – QUITTIN TIME!

I drove LittleSister/Coworker home and we both said being back was a nice change from being stuck at home for the last month.

After I dropped her off I realized I left my lunch on my desk…. ALL THAT LEFTOVER FOOD SITTING ON MY DESK!!!!

I had to go back and get it. There was no way in hell that I was going to waste all that food/money. I wasn’t happy about it and neither was my husband – but I told him it absolutely had to be done!

I headed home and when I arrived home the boys were so happy to see me! It was if I had left for days! 🙂

My husband made me throw all my clothes to the laundry and immediately take a shower. After that we went on a walk with the doggies for 43 minutes. We stopped by Ray’s for a couple of beverages along the way too. I was quite tired actually.

After the walk my husband ate some of the leftovers that I had from lunch – and I was ready to head to bed.

Falling asleep wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. My brain activity was nonstop.

I was supposed to be excited to be back at work – but was I? I still didn’t feel comfortable in the building, was it sanitized? Am I being paranoid? Was it a good day or was it not? Wearing a mask and gloves all day was okay but uncomfortable. Continuously wiping down the tables, door handles, arms of the chairs, light switches, keyboards, the bag sealer, the iPod, and all the additional communal areas.

Is this the new normal?

Day 29 – Second Day Back

April 21st 2020

Up and at em! Time to get LittleSister/Coworker and get our butts to work.

Driving to work I played some Iggy for us to jam out to and get us pumped to finish up the orders for the day to get out.

When we pulled in the parking lot we put our masks on and entered the building.

Spent the morning working on emails, purchasing garments, writing up orders, and checking apparel into the lineup for embroidery and screen print.

Lunch time was leftovers 🙂

After another long day wearing a mask, washing my hands between opening boxes, and isolation we packed up and left.

I dropped LittleSister/CoWorker off I went home to see the boys.

We stuffed our backpacks and headed out for our daily walk – 1hour and 24 minutes. It was nice to clear my head after another day of uncertainty.

When we arrived home I was distracted in my own thoughts.

I worked 2 days – it felt like I was in a dream – I was AT work, but only with a couple other people. Then I was doing my work, but there were no customers. I was answering emails, but only fielding questions, not taking in new orders.

Will I still have a job in a week? Will new business start to come in? All the unknown is starting to settle in my head and my anxiety is starting to rev up.

Where do I go from here? When will I work next? Nothing makes sense and I’m just going through the motions during the day, but is this going to be the new norm?

Day 30 – Don’t Rush – Again

April 22nd 2020

No motivation to get out of bed – it’s not even sunny outside.

I had been texting with the Slayers and came up with an idea to do the Don’t Rush Challenge but in reverse. So we’d start out with our “going out” look and then a remote would be thrown to us and we would think “nah” and get in our cozies and watch tv! HAHA!

My husband helped me film all day – and it was a really cool idea – we did a LOT of different takes. We had way too much fun with the camera and getting the moves and tosses JUST RIGHT! Let’s just say I took a remote to the face too many times!! See a few of the candids below!!

I was very motivated after the first portion of the video that I decided to work on my audition tape for the BUCKS DANCERS.

It has been a dream of mine that I have always wanted to be a dancer for the Milwaukee Bucks. I was on the PomPom team in high school, and was interested in the dance team in college, and many other forms of school spirit dancing. I love it! The energy of the girls around you, pumping up the crowd, kick lines, sassy moves, the works!

I started to work on my Audition Tape for the next couple of hours – nothing finished – but it felt liberating to be swinging my arms in formations and rhythmic patterns. I even decided on my song!

I was working so hard on my routine that I did not pay attention to where I was in relation to other stationary items in the basement… I hit my hand SO HARD on the rafters on the ceiling during one of my jumps!! I bruised my hand instantly and decided it was time to ease up for the day.

Back upstairs for some food and thirst quenching – I was starting to sweat pretty heavily after that workout!

Then some drinks and hangout time on the couch with my husband. Fell asleep together watching a movie and snuggling.

Day 31 – Bush Jumpin & Draft Day

April 23rd 2020

Woke up and had breakfast with my husband – and then we did a bit of tidying around the house. It was also NFL DRAFT DAY! My husband was excited to have something of normalcy in our lives. Even if it was something that was on TV.

I also worked on my audition routine – trying to make my moves crisp and precise.

For the fun of it – we did a promo with his wrestling character and how he was a previous football player and might get drafted this year. It was HILARIOUS! He did such a great job of putting the story together and executing it.

After that we needed to get going on our walk since we didn’t want to be late for the draft!!

On our walk my husband and I were reminiscing about weird activities we would do in high school with our friends. He told me about “BUSH JUMPING” – it was from the early days of the show JACKASS and him and his friends would do it all the time. You would find a random bush – introduce yourself – and then jump into/onto it. I decided that I would be totally down for something like that!

Below is a little bit of my bush jump in photo format….

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We walked for an hour and 20 minutes! Stopped at Ray’s for our daily dose of adult beverages too. When we arrived home it was time to turn on the draft and to make some dinner.

Where is my phone?

We looked everywhere for my phone – my backpack, my purse, my husband’s backpack, jacket pockets, pants pockets… no where.

There could be only one place the phone is…

IN THE $&%*ing BUSH!!!

We hopped in the car to race to the park and sure enough… my phone was laying right in the middle of the bush nicely placed on some branches! WHEW! I lucked out on that one…

Back home to see the draft and to make dinner.

While my husband was enjoying the draft I clicked on the TV to see what was on Netflix for my next bingeworthy show. I found WACO.

If you haven’t heard of it – it’s about a hostage situation in WACO, Texas that went on for over a month with negotiators and the leaders of a cult inside of the commune.

I highly suggest the show – it makes you angry and sad all at the same time – while explaining the story inside and out of what happened. I’m sure there is additional in depth explanation of both sides of exactly the actions and requests, but I thoroughly enjoyed the psychological aspect of it. (DUH! OF COURSE I DID!)

How the mind works, and how people hear things or are being told things. The interesting parts of how actions, perceptions, and intentions form.

If you’ve seen WACO – what are your thoughts on how the FBI pursued the final decision? Do you think the cult leaders were going to agree to their end of the bargain? Whose side with the FBI negotiators were you on? The war leader, or the phone callers?

Day 32 – Blogging & Blah

April 24th 2020

Woke up completely unmotivated to do anything. Lounged around with the dogs for a couple of hours in bed on my phone, and then made coffee and decided to blog.

Writing always helps me release a lot of the tension I have building in my head. Writing a simple poem, or an entire blog post keeps my sanity. Words are a fulfilling way for me to express myself. I’m not particularly a great artist through painting or singing, but words have always been an easy flow for me.

I wrote all the time in high school and college – random thoughts or stories – and I’m glad I have found that passion again.

As I was blogging and going through emails and text threads I saw a post on Facebook from one of my sorority sisters that she has a miscarriage. I was so heartbroken for her – but her vulnerability to put herself out there was encouraging! It also prompted me to reach out to her on the side and follow up with how she is doing, how her husband is doing, and if she needed anything.

It was nice to chat for a little bit – even if the reason the conversation started was because of a loss. It was nice to reconnect on a level that was deeper than a thumbs up or a “haha”.

There was something inside of me that was hurting as well. I needed to keep writing to get my mind focused on positivity.

Hours of blogging and still not finished!

It was time for a snack….

I bought the licorice at Ray’s the day before – and it reminded me of my friend TK from High School. I tried to text him a photo of it but it said that the number was a landline!! What?!

I decided to try to call to see if he had changed his number for some reason… He answered! He said he DID receive the photo of my licorice.

ANOTHER great conversation with someone I haven’t talked to in a very long time. My love tank was full!! We chatted for a good 45 minutes about random stuff here and there, a few memories, his dad, his mom, my parents, our houses, significant others, and everything in between!!

It was starting to get late and my husband was in the other room watching the second day of the NFL draft. He was talking with a friend on the phone so I decided to head upstairs for bed and watched the additional interviews of the people involved in the show TIGERKING. It was pretty good! It wasn’t as in depth as I thought it was going to be, but it made me want to drive down to Oklahoma and punch Joe Exotic in his ear with all the piercings so make it really sting!!!

I had a text from Z about going to work on Monday – there were a lot of packages that arrived that need to be checked in. That made me feel a little better… I get to go back to work on Monday!!

I was really missing my mom. I wanted to drive to her house and give her a hug. I was debating doing that but decided to stay home and send her a couple of silly memes in a text instead. It made me chuckle, and reminded me that we’re all in this together.

Is there anyone in particular that you are missing the most? Or an activity that you miss the most? Are you able to find different avenues to fill that void during this?

Day 33 – The Perfect Date

April 25th 2020

Woke up at 3:40am and could NOT get back to sleep. I was trying to relax, read, anything, but my mind was racing.

I went downstairs to make some coffee and to spend some more time writing out some of my internal frustrations. I couldn’t let go of my anxiousness.

I chatted with twin for a little bit when she got up and she gave me a little push to get a few things done on my to-do list. Mostly laundry and cleaning around the house.

Finally my husband woke up and came downstairs to tell me that he was in a “promo battle” for wrestling.

OBVIOUSLY we will be making a video today!

We had a very long nice breakfast together. Working through some schedule changes, expectations of each other, and discussing a few goals for the next couple of months.

I blogged for a couple more hours – then he told me he was ready to get to it with his video.

After a few hours, many different takes, and editing the bloopers, he was ready to post!

We had the HHH Zoom call with my dad’s side of the family and I was PUMPED for this call. I was ready to chat with the fam about all different kinds of things! Seeing my cousins from all over the place was fun too. From Maine to Oklahoma to Washington, and everywhere in between. All my cousins were wearing their Belafonte shirts too!! What a great surprise that was.

After the call my husband and I were ready for some movies and hangout time!

We cozied up on the couch together and decided to watch some Mandalorian!

We stayed up until about midnight watching the show – talking about the characters – talking about some of our future plans – and just relaxing.

My positivity has been slipping. My energy is low. I’m not excited about a lot of things lately. I don’t know what is happening to my inner self. There is a need for something more. A desire. What is it?

I was hoping to get the garden beds done – but it was raining. Even if it wasn’t raining was I still going to do it? Where is my motivation?

The slayers are doing awesome things and getting a lot done… and I’m over here making excuses.

What is and when will my tipping point be?

Day 34 – Prepping for Tomorrow

April 26th 2020

Woke up after 10am like a lazy sack of bones!

Called Z and we discussed the plan for going back to work tomorrow and that LittleSister/CoWorker and I would go in an hour earlier than everyone else so that we could get everything checked in for production – and make sure they had everything ready that they needed for the day.

After that I went downstairs and had breakfast with my husband and we talked about what my week was going to look like. Again it was going to be only 2 days – Monday and Wednesday/Thursday.

I also talked on the phone with my bonus father-in-law about painting the kitchen. I wanted to get ride of the white and brown – the white looked dirty and the brown was drab. He gave me a lot of great pointers on what shades to use and how to tape certain areas off and add accents!

After doing 3 loads of laundry it was already mid afternoon and we needed to get going on our walk with the doggies!

We went for an hour and 47 minutes!!! We stopped at the playground with the pups again (NO BUSH JUMPING THIS TIME) and went a little further around the park to explore some different neighborhoods that we haven’t seen before. We also took the trail through the parkway and Bernie and I climbed some of the rocks down by the river.

Both doggies did such a great job on the walk – all of us were totally wiped when we got home. I ate 3 bowls of cereal! I don’t remember the last time I had a bowl of cereal… I couldn’t help but laugh at myself for eating an entire box of cereal!!

I took a shower and tried to make a video about my nightly routine. I was not happy with it though – and decided to delete it.

I watched TommyBoy with my husband and when it was over I prepped my lunch and backpack for work the next day.

I wanted to relax and ease my mind about work. I couldn’t help being anxious lately about work. I kept thinking about not having a job in a few weeks. Is there going to be enough work for me? I’m going in an hour earlier than everyone tomorrow – I need to make sure I have everything ready. Masks, thermometer, sanitizer, and disinfectant.

The days are starting to get boring and my productivity around the house is ZILCH. I’m starting to feel useless during this entire pandemic.

How is everyone else feeling? What have you been doing to give yourself hope during all of this?

Day 35 – Push it real good

April 27th 2020

Awake just before 5am to get myself ready – Coffee, lunch, hat, and sneakers. Out the door to go pickup LittleSister/CoWorker.

It was very early for the both of us – definitely trying to pump each other up as much as we could!

When we got to work we immediately started getting everything ready for the production staff. Between checking in, saving logos, finding proofs, and sanitizing everything, we were able to get a good head start in the hour we were there before everyone else.

Big day for pushing out orders – we packed almost 8 webstores to make sure we could get them out to the families who have been waiting over a month for their items. It felt great to be busy, and to accomplish as much as we did in that 8 hour period.

Z mentioned that I would be continuing work tomorrow even if I was by myself with production. I said okay that was fine by me – and he said to keep working. Wait… Did he say to keep working the rest of the week? Or was he just saying to work tomorrow and then we’ll see? A little confusion there….

After I dropped of LittleSister/CoWorker I headed home and was feeling beat. I was up so early, constantly moving my body around at work, and the weather was crap outside.

When I arrived home all I wanted to do was curl up and go to bed. I was talking to my husband about that – and he suggested I give myself a little time to relax, but then we would go for a walk with the dogs together.

After a little bit of down time I forced myself out of bed and grabbed the leashes, plastic bags, and the boys.

We ended up going for over and hour long walk! It was windy and I was in the worst mood ever – but my patient husband assured me that it was okay to feel how I was feeling.

Once home I was glad that we went out – I needed to move my body around.

My husband made dinner and he even made me an omelet for work for the next day! He even put it inside a lunch box for me and labeled it for me to take in the morning.

I went upstairs to bed to check in with the Slayers and felt better talking with them.

I fell asleep to RIDICULOUSNESS – tomorrow is going to be another early day!!

Day 36 – Just getting through the day

April 28th 2020

Woke up at 4:50am – made my coffee – took care of the doggies – kissed my husband goodbye – grabbed my lunch – and headed to work by myself.

I arrived at work and was all alone for over an hour before anyone else came in. It was me and 2 other people there the entire day – until later in the afternoon when one of the owners came in. I had my lunch from my husband and heated up the omelet to enjoy for lunch.

During the day I found out that the screen printer was backed up on screens for decorating more orders. Since we have a limited crew he has had to clean screens, shoot screens, setup and take down on his own all day. He is okay with those things, but he doesn’t coat the screens well – and that’s where the true bottle neck was.

No one was coming in soon to help but we tried to get a hold of our regular coworker who takes care of that. I told him that if no one comes in tomorrow I can learn how to coat the screens and help him where I can.

I left at 2:30pm on the dot. Hopped in my car and drove straight home. When I got home I went upstairs, changed my clothes, got in bed, and watched TV. Perry Mason, Matlock, and RIDICULOUSNESS.

The Slayers group collaboratively decided to do daily check ins for our daily goals to keep us on track. I texted with the Slayers and twin has been CRUSHING her daily goals. I am so proud of her! I didn’t even make excuses for my daily goals not being done – I just didn’t do them. I flat out said I was being a lazy POS.

I went downstairs once for food but then went right back up and went to sleep.

I cannot shake this funk I am in. My motivation is at an all time low. There is absolutely nothing pushing me to even try to check anything off my to-do list. Where is this coming from? Where did my happy-get up- and – go personality disappear to? Typically I feel bad when I’m unproductive, but lately I have given up and just don’t care.

Tomorrow is another day back – there isn’t enough work for more people to come in – so I’ll be all alone again.